Thursday, December 23, 2010

5 People you Should Never Sleep with, but ....

Written by Guest Blogger, Sam Jones*
Edited by Lindsay and Lauren of Love Kudos


So you want to be naughty over the holidays, so you can start the new year fresh! I've been thinking about all the people I would like to have a romp in the bed with. I have been fantasizing about people I would like to sleep with, but I know I shouldn't cross the line. In spite of my care free attitude about my love life, I do care about how my behavior might impact my friends, family, and work situation. Maybe one day, I will take the plunge and sleep with someone on my "Top 5 People you Should Never Sleep with."

So, here is my list. Feel free to write me your mischievious ideas for an off the limits hook up.

1. The Coworker / Boss. My eyes have drifted down to check out my boss's package. He then notices my glare and shuts his office door. He throws everything on the desk to the floor and then my head perks up and I come back to reality. Maybe you have checked out your coworkers cleavage while you are going over a report together. I know he's married with young children, but it's that steamy taboo scenario I've played in my head over and over again. Or maybe, he is just Hugh Grant from Bridget Jones and has a fiancee over a thousand miles away. Either way, you know it is wrong, but the sex would be oh so passionate.


Monday, December 20, 2010

Separated Over the Holidays: How Can you Send your Love?

Written by Lauren K. and Lindsay K. of Love Kudos

Question from one of our Love Kudos' followers*:

From DavidWygant.com
I am going to be in Seattle for the holidays and this guy I just started seeing a month ago is going to be in Paris visiting his sister. Because of our work and vacation schedules, we will be spending both Christmas and New Year's without each other. It really s!*ks. I am pretty sure we are exclusive, because we have been seeing each other about 3-4 times a week and he has not logged on to his online dating profile in awhile. How much do you think we should communicate during our time apart? I don't want to appear like the psycho girlfriend, but I do want to keep in touch while we are both doing our own thing. What do you think?
(Locations have been changed to preserve the anonymity of our reader.)

This isn't the 1800's and we all know that Skype, International calling plans, and email are all now inexpensive ways for us to communicate during our time away from each other. However, there still is the perception that when we are out of the country, on a cruise, or in a remote location, communication lessens. Blame it on the time zone differences and our old school mentality.

Love Kudos recommends sending a quick text or a 5 minute phone call that would let the other person know you are thinking of them and put a smile on their face.  Every day would be nice, but not necessary or even possible in some cases. You should be able to enjoy your vacation.  If possible, send a couple of text pictures during the vacation of our highlights. Not enough to rub it in that you are in the Carribean and they are in Austin, slaving over 4th quarter data reporting. Lauren suggests to be prepared in advance and add an international plan to your cell phone if you or your new love is going to be out of the country.  Verizon and many other cell phone providers offer international plans, especially inexpensive ones for Mexico and Canada.

The Long-Distance Romance ... Is there a winning formula?

Written by Lauren K. of Love Kudos

We have shied away from the long-distance relationship for a number of reasons, but most of all, because they are very complicated. However difficult they may be, sometimes you fall for someone outside of your 150 mile radius and that connection is just undeniable.
I know several couples that are now married after spending more than a year flying or driving back and forth to see each other. The common thread in all of these couples is that all of them were 100% invested in making those relationships work in spite of the distance.  When one person is devoting a lot more effort or sacrifices a lot more to make the relationship function, eventually resentment will occur due to the imbalance, and the relationship will falter.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Send Some Love: LK's Holiday Gift Guide


Written by Lauren K. and Lindsay K. of Love Kudos



 
Happy Hanukkah!
Merry Christmas!
Happy Kwanzaa!








2nd Annual Love Kudos Gift Guide

Last Year, we gave you some pointers on some gifts to buy for your new beaus and dolls for the holidays. We know that we missed the official Hanukkah deadline and some of you might have already hit the mall (and survived), but for those of you that held off on purchasing your presents, here are some tips and tricks from Love Kudos.  

Although we all love to receive gifts, the holiday season is all about giving!
(Don't forget to donate to your favorite charities too) 

Your present to your new love should express that you are very interested and want to continue seeing that person, but not be an overly extravagant gift that sends the message you have already marked your date for your future wedding.  This gift guide is really for people that have been dating anywhere from six weeks to six months.

In general, perfumes and colognes make nice gifts, but coupled with some spiciness post gift exchange, make them even better presents.  Some new scents this season are Armani Code for women, and Big Pony Collection 3 by Ralph Lauren for men. The Ralph Lauren scent is described as rugged, Americana, a sexy, simple bet for a gentleman. A little bit of scotch with a splash of mint tea is how one buyer described it on her man.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Top 10 Dating Tips for Men and Women 25 and Up



Written by Top Dating Tips and Commentary by Lauren K.

Top 10 Dating Tips

1.Get prepared for dating. If you really want to succeed in the dating game, be ready to commit to dating. Half-heartedness won't work. In fact, it won’t even get you half-way. If you really want to date, put some effort into it. Do some research and think about what you want out of dating. Prepare yourself for the inevitable rejection we all face at some point in dating and commit not to give up.  (Lauren K. says if you just broke up with someone, it is ok to go out on a date if you get asked out or just hook up if the opportunity presents itself, but do not initiate dating if your heart is not open yet. It will just lead to a disasterous ending. Rebound sex can only go on for so long.)


2.Get your act together. Begin a regime of looking your best. Join a gym, read health magazines, get fit and start a diet. Get your hair cut or styled and begin a new regime of good grooming or beauty treatment. Though it will not find you a date in itself, you will feel a million times more confident about yourself, and others can sense that. (Lauren K. adds no need to get botox, breast augmentation, or spend all of your time at the gym in hiding. Just some basic grooming and physical activity will usually get you in gear for dating.)


3.Go shopping and treat yourself to new clothes and even a whole new look. Get your image right, one that you can manage and live with, but one that flatters you. Don't try to be someone you’re not, but amplify and accentuate your positives. Throw out those tired jeans, old sweaters or cardigans and spruce yourself up. Your date will appreciate that you demonstrated some effort. (Remember to compliment your date on his or her appearance if  you like their look. They made an effort for you too.)



4.Think about what you want to gain from dating and what timeframes you expect. Do you see yourself married within 2 years? If you do, then approach dating accordingly. If you are more laid back and don't take dating too seriously then ask yourself some honest questions about why you are dating and what you hope to achieve. If it is purely sex then ask yourself if you are about to be honest with those you hope to date. (No need to put a sticker on you on your first date that reads, Hey, looking for marriage, You game? Just know what you are looking for and read the signs. If the guy is telling you he might be moving in a few months to a different city for a job, put that in your memory bank. No need to interrogate him on his "potential" move just yet. If the guy is just looking for fun, perhaps you can state that early on, but no need to mention is on date #1. You just might change your mind as you get to know her.)


5.Surround yourself with people who will support your dating aims. By following the first four tips you will feel better and be more focused. Don’t sabotage this by sitting around with friends who are negative about love and relationships (often the married ones). Start attending social functions frequented by singles. Sitting alongside couples at dinner parties in suburbia is not necessarily where you need to be right now. (If you live near your family, limit your visits to a maximum of twice a week. This way you have nights free for dating. Although Mom and dad occasionally will set you up, they are not the #1 way you will meet your husband or wife. Through friends and siblings, school, and online dating are the top three ways that people meet their husbands or wives. According to Match.com's 2010 survey results, come 2015 online dating may be the most common way for somebody to enter in to a new relationship or meet their future spouse.)



6.Choose those you have a good chance of dating. Be realistic. In other words, your dating is based on the whole package you present as well as just your personality. If you are looking for a glamour girl or boy and want to date someone trendy and gorgeous, great! Just know that others will expect you to be the same. (AGREED! Although if Bradley Cooper wants to start slumming it, I am still available.)


7.Join clubs, societies, sports events, drama groups -- anything that might help you meet like-minded potential partners. You will not meet people by staying indoors and playing video games – many have tried and failed at this approach. (Diversify, but create some consistency with the groups you are active with. If you go to meet ups, give each group more than one chance.)


8.Take time off from dating occasionally if it’s not going well or causing dating fatigue. Recharging your batteries and keeping confidence and optimism levels high is an absolute must. We all hit rough patches, but don’t let your search for love become a death march. Date in phases if necessary. (Hide your profile on online dating sites for a period of time and then update your pics and copy when you go back on. You might spark someone's interest with your new look that you passed on you before.)


9.Enjoy dating for what it is, dating. It is meeting people and socializing and spending time in the company of stimulating individuals who may or may not play a bigger part in your life down the road. The fact is, most people have something interesting to offer. While you may not be out on the dating scene looking for new friends, you may well find one or two fabulous people along the way. (If you think someone could be a great friend addition, but the chemistry is not there, cut off the dating early and do not lead them on for too long just to keep them in your life. They may be open to being friends or not. Let them choose if they want to be added to your friend network.)


10.Never make yourself too available. People like mystery and enigma and the thrill of the chase when dating. As part of keeping up the mystery, do not sleep with your dates early on.* The longer a person is made to chase and fall for you within reason, the more likely that love may blossom. (And yes, this goes for both men AND women!) If the chemistry peaks too early, your emotions may never have time to catch up and the relationship will eventually wither away. (I know it may surprise some, but making out early on in dating can actually be satisfying. If they don't want to go out on another date, it is not because you just made out.)

TRUE STORY: I recently went on a second date with someone and made out in their car. I was staying in a hotel for work purposes, and in his own subtle way he asked to come to my hotel room. I said, "If you are fishing for an invite, it is not happening. Sorry." He said, "I know. If you wanted to invite me in, you would." We kissed goodbye and then he never called. I am glad that I trusted my instinct on that one. Physical chemistry does not necessarily equate to long-term partnership compatibility.  

womenshealthmag.com
*Some basic points to remember about SEX:
  • Never sleep with someone on the first date
  • Don’t even mention sex on the first (or first few) dates
  • Never ever talk about sex with your ex when dating
  • Never admit how many people you have slept with
  • Date people to whom you are physically attracted to
  • Don’t pretend sex isn’t important – it is
  • Being sexy is not the same as being easy
  • Kissing does not mean sex
  • Have sex the first time where you are most comfortable
  • Always practice safe sex
  • Good sex is a good start, but bad sex can get better
  • Avoid people who are selfish in their sexual needs
  • Never do anything that makes you uncomfortable
  • Make sure you know enough about your new partner before becoming intimate
  • Never allow yourself to be rushed into sex if you’re not ready

Saturday, November 20, 2010

The Hunt for Love: Make your move!

Written by Lindsay K. and Lauren K. of Love Kudos


Have you ever seen the Bravo TV show, Millionaire MatchmakerLauren describes the show as a public display of love boot camp for Millionaires, with a side of matchmaking.  Yes, it is about finding the perfect match, but more importantly, it is about preparing the man or woman for the realities with love and dating. No one likes the game, but sometimes we have to play to win it. Love being the object to win in this analogy. The TV host, Patti Stanger, can be really obnoxious and outspoken at times, but we think she has some valid rules for finding love.  She frequently will tell her passive behaving male clients to be more aggressive and become a hunter.  What does she mean? 

Thursday, November 11, 2010

8 Illogical Reasons to Lie on Your Online Dating Profile


Written by Lindsay of Love Kudos
Edited by Lauren

Collegecandy.com

Do you remember the commercial where the couple is having dinner during their first date and the attractive woman is in complete shock, because the older guy sitting across from her looks nothing like the cute prom picture on his online profile? Well, in case you don't actually watch commercials and just DVR all your shows, we will give you the highlights. Cindy*, the woman, uses her smartphone to look up his profile, and he admits the picture was from long ago. Love Kudos has always known of these type of deceptions, but recently we had a close friend that was dealt the "false advertising" profile. We really were hoping that everyone would be open and honest in their search for love, but we have come to conclude that this is not possible for the pathological liars out there.

Here are 8 illogical reasons why you should fib on your online dating profile:



This is a clip on someone who lies about who they are, not external appearances.
 The bs comes out eventually.

  1. You want to waste your time.
  2. You want to waste other people's time.
  3. You want to start a relationship based on a bunch of lies.
  4. You want to go on a number of first worst dates.
  5. You want your date to tell their friends about their horrible date.
  6. You want to be single for a long time.
  7. You want your date to play the guess your height and weight game.
  8. You don't like who you are.
You might be older, balder, fatter, saggier, and wrinklier than you were ten years ago, but if you can't accept who you are, then why would why should someone else? There's a lid to every pot, so someone out there will love and accept you. Not telling the truth on your profile, just sets you up for failure in the end.  It is a Love Kudos NO, NO.

How many lies are on your profile?
Need a profile makeover?
Update your pictures and copy with Love Kudos

Sexting: Sam Jones does not get it! Do you?


Written and Compiled by Guest Blogger, Sam Jones

The communication mode known as "sexting" is a new form of foreplay according to some of my younger single friends. However, I just don't really get it. Flirting some in texting I completely understand, but sexting is something that is beyond me. I am too action oriented for endless messages that resort into sleeping alone at the end of the night and unsatisfied.

A blogger that Love Kudos recently started reading up on, Emily Macintosh, from L.A., wrote an article on the subject of Sexting. I think Emily needs to realize that sexting is simply a waste of thumb muscles and time. Text to meet and then do the dirty talk in person is what Sam Jones has to say.

Sexter Update! (and the future of Sexting?) 
from Emily Macintosh, My Life on Match & More

My tweeple know that The Sexter is on my shit list. He came back from a few weeks away and I have discovered he can talk the talk, but can't walk the walk.

When he returned, sexts picked up right where they left off. Things were hot and heavy until his impromptu visit to my office. He stopped by, said hi and left. Now, this is not how I saw things going in my mind? I pictured things getting pushed off my desk as I was being pushed onto it! No, that didn't happen.





Coming Up: A new blog on dating from the perspective of a divorcee.  


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Thursday, October 28, 2010

Love Kudos Blogiversary: Top 50 Internet Search Terms


Written by Lauren K. of Love Kudos
Edited by Lindsay K.
Love Kudos Turns "1" Let's Celebrate

Lindsay and I can't believe it has been a year since we first started publicly exposing our own case studies in dating, and asked / answered the burning love questions that many of us have contemplated in our lifetime. From writing about text break ups to booty call protocol, we have not shied away from embarrassing or edgy topics with sex and dating.



 Although many of our Love Kudos' fans are in our friend network on Facebook, thousands of users throughout the world have found our blog entries through other means. Did you know that there are Love Kudos fans in Pakistan and Senegal? We would like to share you with the top 50 funniest search terms that have led our readers to LoveKudos.com.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Flirting Out and About in a Relationship: Turn On or Turn Off


Written by Lauren K. of Love Kudos
  
I can be a shameless flirt, but when I am in a mutually exclusive relationship, I tend to tone down on the amount of eye winks, sly smiles, and limit the number of males I dole out my digits to in order to make my partner feel good about our connection.

A couple of months ago I disclosed that one of the reasons I was dumped was due to my slightly inappropriate flirting with others, as well as talking about other guys.

Monday, October 4, 2010

That's why they call them CRUSHES!

Written by Lindsay K. of Love Kudos


In the movie Sixteen Candles, Samantha, a sophomore in high school has a huge crush on the 1980's version of McDreamy, who happens to be a senior.  During a late night talk with her father, he offers her some wise words of advice. "That's why they call them crushes.  If they were easy, they'd call them something else. "

For everyone who has ever experienced an unrequited crush, one understands the anguish and mental torment that accompanies it. When we were younger, it felt more like your heart was broken in a million pieces and you would never recover. Now that we are older, it feels more like a bruised ego and we can move on.


 During my junior year in high school, I had this huge crush on this guy in my trig class.   He was a rebel with spiky hair and was dumb as a box of rocks.  I can't remember his name, maybe it was John.  That year, I looked forward to going to that class (I wonder why? haha). I started to enjoy math and realized that I was actually adept at it.  John* and I talked during class and I helped him with his homework.  No romantic relationship transpired, but I think he knew I liked him.   Maybe he needed to see my answer to my "sex quiz".


As the movie continues, Samantha answers the questions to the "anonymous" sex quiz; memorializing she's a virgin and she would like to do it with Jake.  She drops the completed quiz on the floor for her friend, Randy, behind her.  Jake watches Sam drop the quiz and sneakily reaches his foot to obtain the quiz before the sleeping friend wakes up.  After class she asks her friend Randy if she got the quiz, but learns she never saw it. Samantha responds, "God, I hope whoever got that note doesn't know it was me who wrote it. I'd shit twice and die."

  How would the movie end if Jake never learned that our dear Sam had a crush on him?  

Unfortunately crushes don't end in high school, but continue on to adulthood. Luckily the way we go about starting a romance has improved.  Now we can send them an email, or wink without having to be face to face.  I think Facebook offers a great way to let someone know you have a little crush on them. Case in point, I was looking through my friend's friendlist and came upon a cutie.  I coordinated a place where we would be at the same place as this guy, so I could introduce myself.  
 
Later, I "friended" him on FB and left a personal message, "It was nice meeting you the other day.  Want to do it again?"  It was a bold move on my end, but I figured I had to put myself out there and let him know I was interested.  If it didn't work, then he could just ignore the comment and I would never see him again.  This time it worked and he asked me out on a date. 

When I asked a guy friend how they would let someone know they were interest, he responded, "I don't know, depends on how bad I liked them. I guess I would probably try to ask them out if I could muster up the balls."   Love Kudos recommends you muster up the balls and take some action. 

Lauren K. recommends taking calculated risks in the love arena. If you think you are a 5 and the guy or girl you want to go out with is a 9.5, perhaps he or she may be out of your league. If you can handle the possible rejection, then go for it. I can admit that Bradley Cooper is out of my league, but I am willing to take the chance of rejection for a kiss from my Hollywood idol. I am just not going to stalk him in LA to see if that happens. The odds are not exactly in my favor. Lauren continues, "I was watching the show Parenthood tonight and in one of the storylines, a young, hip mom encourages her nerdy 16 year old son to make a move on his hottie lab partner and it turns into utter disaster. He misreads the social cues, mistaking her interest in his book smarts for being into him. I am sure that science class the next day will be awkward." Sixteen Candles is in fact one of my favorite movies, as well as all of the 80's John Hughes' flicks.

Lindsay wants to encourage you to take some action with your love life. What's the worst that could happen?  What's the best thing that could happen?  In dating, it is a numbers game and the more you do something the more comfortable you get at it.  Make it happen!"  

Do you need help on how to tell your crush? 

Love Kudos is here to listen.  
Email us your situation:

 

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

10 Ways to Ruin a First Date and 5 Ways to Hopefully Get a Second Date


Written by Lindsay K. of Love Kudos
First impressions are important, especially on a first date.  Recently, I went on a first date that did not go over particularly well. I met Peter* for the first time over drinks and appetizers.  There were 5 simple ways in which this guy ruined our initial date. 
  1. Starting your meal before your date arrives.  Peter arrived 15 minutes early to the Mexican restaurant, while I was right on time.  However, when I finally sat down I discovered he had already devoured the chips and salsa and was half way through his margarita shaker.  I felt as if the date started without me.  If you are late for the date, this is understandable, but I was right on time.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

The Ten Commandments Of Facebook (and Commentary)

Intro and Commentary by Lauren K. of Love Kudos
Written by Wendy Atterberrry
blog.our
church.com
  
I am a major proponent of the proper use of Facebook: to connect with old friends, send event invites, acknowledge acquaintances' birthdays, the announcement of engagements, marriages, and new babies, the occasional snooping around to check out an X-boyfriend or X-girlfriend's Facebook photos, and video/ article sharing.

However, there are many people out there who simply do not abide by basic Facebook etiquette. According to Frisky blogger, Wendy Atterberry, there is a list of 10 commandments every Facebook user should be forced to follow or else suffer an eternal afterlife of emoticons and fundraiser pleas from high school algebra partners.

Here you go:

1. Thou shall not post or tag friends on embarrassing or incriminating photos.

This is what yearbooks or scrapbooks are for — things that exist on dusty shelves for a select few to enjoy and mock — not the internet, where potential employers and lovers can be scared away. For all the negative things one can say about Facebook, it would be hard to deny how easy the social networking site makes it to keep in touch with people. (Posting a picture of your friend with braces, dressed as a nerd, is really insensitive. Think twice before you tag is my motto.)

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Text Break-Up: Hold off on the Kisses for a Bit

Written by Lauren K. of Love Kudos

Part 1 of the Case Study on Break Up Protocol: The Build Up

In the digital age where some days we spend more time on Facebook than face-to-face time, it is no wonder why so much miscommunication occurs in relationships. Although I have been known to text to express spiciness in my relationships or slight upset, I have never felt it was appropriate to end a relationship only through texting. (If you go out twice, you are under no obligation to have an awkward phone conversation of why there is just not a connection between the two of you.) Texting is another means to add confusion to dysfunctional relationships. As one love expert reports, "Text breakups are just another way to avoid confrontation."

I recently became a victim to the text break up and I am not going to be reticent on how he did it. In nearly a year of blogging about love and relationships in general, I have yet to have a case study that sheds a negative spotlight on any one particular male.  Well, that is about to change ...


Part II of Text Break Up: Hold off on the Kisses for a Bit

Written by Lauren K. of Love Kudos

After going from everyday communication with D-Master,* he withdrew after I left for my trip to NY. Technically, he withdrew after he had fixed everything in my apartment. He even fibbed with me about his hourly rate for his labor during our last date. I really did not think I was on a labor contract.
Here is how he ended our relationship via text. It was a slow, painful death, which lasted a full five days. In girl time, it felt like at least a month. I do want to preface that I am not entirely innocent in why the relationship ended. However, I was fully prepared to take ownership for my part.

(If you have not read Part 1, click here first).

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

52 Things Lizzy Lynn has learned from Love, Dating & Sex


Written by guest blogger Lizzie Lynne*, 

Edited by Lindsay K. of Love Kudos





The following excerpt was written with an unfiltered hand by a 30 year old female when she couldn't sleep one night!


 

  1. Holding my hand in public will get you an extra special bonus when we get home.  Holding my hand and putting your arm around me in front of my friends will get you an extra special bonus on the way home.
  2. First kiss in the rain = me never forgetting you.
  3. Other people watching can be okay. Your dog/cat/bird/hamster is just creepy.
  4. No one can cuddle all night long, but if we happen to wake up tangled together we may as well have amazing wake up sex.
  5. Most of the time I want to be the big spoon.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Affection Deception - A case study in Love Karma

Written by Lindsay K. of Love Kudos

We’ve all had those dates, where you keep looking at your watch and wish the date could be over.  How long do I have to stay with this person until it's not rude to excuse myself and the date can be finally over?   But what if you have a great date with someone and you think there's a connection, but NO FOLLOW-UP?  Lauren K. blogged about her similar situation in Amazing Date But No Follow-up. Unfortunately, now it is my turn to tell my tale.

In hindsight, after writing this blog, he must have been looking at his watch and indiscriminately waiting for the date to be over.  On the other hand, I was really enjoying myself and was a little annoyed when I didn’t receive a follow-up anything! 

Monday, August 2, 2010

17 Signs You’ll Get Divorced

Written and complied by Lindsay K. of the Love Kudos duo



Ah statistics, the formal science of making effective use of numerical data relating to groups of individuals or experiments. Age, race, demographics, politics, finances, intelligence, and procreation all can influence if a marriage last or ends in divorce. The following are 17 statistical signs and symptoms of divorce.


 

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Your Best First Kiss ... Were you 12, 21, 41?


Written and compiled by Lauren K. of Love Kudos

Recently I was asked on an OK Cupid dating test how many people I had kissed. Can you fathom how many people you have kissed in your lifetime so far? The estimated number I revealed is irrelevant, but it prompted me to think about what made my best kisses so great and the horrendous ones so memorable too.

This week Love Kudos requested our readers to reveal their "Best First Kiss" stories and more than a dozen people sent in comments and best first kiss stories. Lindsay and I selected the best of the best first kiss stories to share with all of our Love Kudos readers.

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Kissing Styles: Washing Machine, Lizard, Face Sucker ...

Written By Lindsay K.  and Lauren K. of Love Kudos


Tongue wrestling, sucking face, frenching, snogging, necking, pecking, playing tonsil hockey, giving someone a big smacker are all descriptions for the common behavior: kissing.

According to a popular TV commercial, the average person will spend 20,000 minutes in their lifetime kissing. Therefore, you want to make sure you are the best you can be at this common display of affection. A first kiss can determine whether or not he or she gets another date, so it is essential that you have a lot of tricks up your sleeve in the kissing domain and can be a chameleon with your kissing style.

Romantic Love has three components—romance, attachment, and sexual arousal—and kissing activates all three, says Helen Fisher, author of Why Him? Why Her? Both men and women also kiss to assess genetic compatibility. That's why kissing someone new can create sparks—or cause a budding romance to wither on the branch.   Last year, the magazine, Psychology Today, explored gender distinctions with kissing and found that men and women have different kissing styles overall.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

9 Reasons why Men are like Cats

 Case Study: Frankie, Grey Tabby, Male, approx. 3 years old

Written by Lindsay K.of Love Kudos

Is it possible for animals to love just like humans?   In response to Lauren K. post regarding the love affair between two canines: Chole & Caribou,  and for all those cat lovers out there, the following discusses what I have learned with living for a male cat for the past 3 years and how that compares to the dating, relationships, and life in general.  The unconditional love he provides is priceless.  Please add your own in the comment section.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Summer Lovin' or Summer Single?


Written by Lauren K. of Love Kudos

Summer Break-Up Season has Commenced ...

It seems to be break up season for some of my closest friends and I have to wonder why. Does summer breed temptation of a different magnitude? In my personal experience, I tend to start dating people in the fall and break up with them right after the winter ends. I need my men during hibernation. I am a summer lovin' type of girl and seem to meet guys in May and break up with them right around the 4th of July. I guess when the fireworks heat up,  a different kind of fire is ignited in my relationships.

Askmen.com wrote a stream of consciousness that I can relate to, "We can maybe ascribe some sort of symbolic 'new beginnings' thing to spring, but autumn is all about getting secure for winter -- and winter is about making it through to spring. So, if you're thinking about breaking up with your significant other, now's probably the time, ... in the summer."
With all the outdoor barbecues, tubing adventures, visits to Hula Hut, summer share homes in the Hamptons and Dewey Beach, camping trips, and pool/boat parties, you're bound to meet all the women and men you can handle, right?

Monday, May 24, 2010

Are we too picky? Quality Control In Dating & Relationships

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From Baggage Reclaim Blog and brought to you with commentary by Lauren K. of Love Kudos 

quality controlYesterday in part one, I talked about the tricky issue of being too picky, not picky enough, or perceived as being picky when you are reluctant to be involved with people who detract from you, where others are OK with it. Ultimately, the truth is, only you know how picky you’re being and as you may have already learned, you can only live by your own values, not others, as they are personal to you. When people question what you’re doing, they’re talking about stuff from the perspective of their values.

Some of the worst culprits for this are mothers and I’ll cover this in a whole other post as it deserves a post or several of its own!

Friday, May 14, 2010

Online dating not working for you? Try a Love Doll

Written by Lindsay K. of Love Kudos

The National Geographic Channel has a series regarding Taboos. The episode called Strange Love, explores four taboo love options: arranged marriages in Nepal, polygamy, negotiated infidelity, and Love Dolls.

The last taboo perked my ears and as I watched the part on love dolls, a cloud appeared above my head that said, "Really?"

Monday, May 10, 2010

A True Love Affair, the Old Fashioned Way (Caribou & Chloe)

Written by Lauren K.

"The Chase" still has merit in modern day courting. I would like to explore an unlikely case study of two dogs that are dear to me and completely unequivocally in love: Chloe and Caribou*. Like young lovers that met in grade school, Chloe met Caribou when he was six weeks old, not potty trained, and completely inferior to her in his barking, jumping, and fetching skills. Since she was 13 months senior to him, she taught him everything that she knew and exhibited an immense amount of patience when he messed up or played a little too rough with her.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

First Impressions in Dating: Teeth and Smiles

Written by Lindsay K. of Love Kudos

One of the first physical characteristics I notice about a person is their mouth: specifically, their teeth.  During my sophomore year in high school, I met my first love during lunch break.  Unfortunately he had one major defect, a rotten front tooth that was brownish green.  I was able to look past this physical defect and I dated him for almost three years. However I have to admit, initially I was attracted to his white smiler older brother.  However, "EE, " (for the two letter e's in the word teeth) as my friends and I nicknamed him, had a much better personality and charisma than his cuter older brother.

My dad describes my ex as a great guy you'd want as a neighbor, but not dating your daughter.  About six months after we broke up, he finally got fixed that brownish green tooth! His next girlfriend really lucked out.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Dating the American Way - Go Green

Written by Lindsay K. of Love Kudos

Humans want what we want, when we want it and we want it NOW.  In Charlie in the Chocolate Factory, Veruca Salt wants the goose that lays golden eggs.  When Willie Wonka states they aren't for sale, Veruca screams, "But I want it NOW!" And we all know what happened to her, right? 

We become frustrated and discouraged while we are waiting for love to knock on our digital front door.  Some serial daters will go out with a person once and throw them away like garbage. We are dating for instant gratification.  Perhaps, we need to be more environmentally friendly with our dating lives too. In the following blog, I will discuss ways to go green (in dating terms).


Monday, April 26, 2010

Booty Call Gone Bad - Does Size Matter?

Written by Sam Jones, Guest Blogger

I was recently out having drinks with a bunch of my girl friends, when I decided it was time for a romp with my most recent casual sex interest. 

As Love Kudos recently described in their recommended booty call protocol, booty calls are supposed to be fun and done, in and out, literally.  Most people enjoy sex and even look forward to it.   Men even analogize sex to pizza, even bad pizza is still edible.  So it really surprised me how uninviting this last round of sex was, at least for me. Jack* and I actually had great foreplay, consisting of  passionate kissing and no holding back dry humping.  

How was I to know that this booty call was to end, leaving me unsatisfied and disgruntled ?

Monday, April 19, 2010

Exchanging of Belongings (Post Break-Up)

Written by Lauren K. of Love Kudos

Exchanging of Belongings:
If you live in a swanky high rise in NYC, you are extremely fortunate with the belongings exchange process. Why is that? Because you can use the doorman to do your dirty work and never have to intentionally see your Ex again (if you don't want to). You can even black list them from seeing you in your building. On Sex in the City, Miranda was not only given back her belongings by a doorman, but was actually delivered the "break up" message by him. I think being broken up by a doorman is worse than by a text message or a post-it.

What do you think?

Accidentally On Purpose Keepsakes and Rejects



Written by Lauren K. of Love Kudos

For those of you who might be confused or a bit terrified, I am not referring to getting knocked up as the TV show on CBS "Accidentally On Purpose" implies. I am talking about the items that somehow do not make their way back to their rightful owners post the break-up. This more than often happens with women keeping men's hats, t-shirts, pajama bottoms, or even electronics. However, on occasion men have also been guilty of keeping women's belongings, not because they want them for sentimental reasons, but because they don't want to deal with the belongings' exchange meeting.

Sometimes, these men find having women's shampoo or a hair dryer to be a true benefit with their new dating prospects.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

"Heed That Warning" (Dating and Relationships)

Written by Lucian Rivers, a Guest Blogger for Love Kudos
Edited by Lauren K.

Most people have been there. You meet a stunningly attractive person. The conversation is easy as you play off each other, taking turns flashing eyes at one another, you lose track of time, and next thing you know, you are engaged in a possible “love connection.” The lights ahead are green, the anticipation stacks. You stop just shy of declaring your love, but your eyes tell the story.

And then the bottom drops out: for every ounce of readiness to settle down that suddenly courses your veins, he has the same vigor --- only channeled in the opposite direction.

Monday, April 5, 2010

George Carlin's "Modern Man" Are you?

 Written by Lindsay K. of Love Kudos
(on suggestion of Mateo)


In the past 30 years or so, gender roles have changed tremendously.  We now have stay-at-home dads, women that outnumber men in law schools, and some men who feel futile, because they are not the breadwinners and have no desire to take on domestic duties.  A modern woman can be college educated, head of household, and committed to a life without having her own children.   She is underpaid, expected to pay, and devalued. She can be downloaded, upgraded, and outsourced.  






Thursday, April 1, 2010

Frustrations in Online Dating ... Ugh!

Written by Lauren K. and Lindsay K. of  Love Kudos

Okcupid.com is a free online dating site which offers a variety of matches based on your ideal qualities and your answers to their questions. If you answer publicly, you can compare your responses to a person you are interested in. 

Recently,  G.T. Jungle* winked at Lindsay K.  He is a 39 year old male.  The website said they were "60% Match 61% Friend 37% Enemy."  She took the initiative to send the first email after he winked at her, but somewhere down the line, she failed to return his email. He wasn't exactly shy about letting her know his frustrations!

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