Saturday, November 20, 2010

The Hunt for Love: Make your move!

Written by Lindsay K. and Lauren K. of Love Kudos

Have you ever seen the Bravo TV show, Millionaire MatchmakerLauren describes the show as a public display of love boot camp for Millionaires, with a side of matchmaking.  Yes, it is about finding the perfect match, but more importantly, it is about preparing the man or woman for the realities with love and dating. No one likes the game, but sometimes we have to play to win it. Love being the object to win in this analogy. The TV host, Patti Stanger, can be really obnoxious and outspoken at times, but we think she has some valid rules for finding love.  She frequently will tell her passive behaving male clients to be more aggressive and become a hunter.  What does she mean? 

Her latest millionaire victim (client) said he gave the girl his phone number at the end of the first meeting and told her to call him.  Patti was furious and insisted that if he liked the girl, he should become a "hunter" and ask the girl out for another date at the end of their initial date.  Love Kudos agrees that men need to go after what they want before someone else comes along and picks up the prize. Lauren K. says that men have become too passive and complacent with so many options out there. Although, if a guy is truly luke warm about pursuing a woman after the initial meeting, he should end it completely.  She adds, men are always waiting for something better to come along before they commit. Women can also have the grass is always greener on the other side mentality.

Women want to be hunted.  Even if they say they don't like flowers or that they are unnecessary, no woman will turn them down if they are offered.  Don't you want to be the guy she brags to her friends about? (Probably not for that reason, but all of the hunting will get you laid eventually. No guarantees though.)

Most women want to see the guy make an effort in courtship.  In a long-distance situation, it is recommended that the guy visit the girl's city for the first meeting or meet in a neutral location. If she is worth it, you will go the distance. Men, plan that first date, but it is ok to ask for input in what she likes to do and what types of food she prefers or despises. No need to plan a marathon date, but have a plan A and plan B in case things go awry.

Lindsay K. has a few case studies to exemplify her point here.

Boy #1, (I am using the word boy instead of guy, man, or hunter.) I wasn't 100% sold on him, since he was lacking some qualities that I desire in a man.  Plus, I wasn't really giving him the feedback that he wanted.  Instead of trying harder, he gave up.  He asked me to go to a bar and watch a game, even after I expressed to him I am that I was not into sports, unless its the Chicago Bears.  He never asked me out to dinner or do anything special. He just gave up. Come on! (Lauren K. comments in his defense that Lindsay was not giving him the signs that she was interested in pursuing a relationship with him. Maybe Lindsay could have suggested an alternative plan instead of watching the game if she was truly interested.)

Boy #2
I had been corresponding (7-8 emails) with boy #2, so it was pretty obvious that there was interest on both sides.  He asked, "So wanna get together some time for coffee or tea or something relatively non-committal? :)" The hunter would have asked directly for my phone number and a date at the same time. "What's your phone number?  I would like to talk with you about going out sometime for coffee or tea."

What happened? I said yes to his request for coffee and voluntarily provided my phone number. I never received a phone call, nor an email from that boy again. Lame! 

A male friend told me about a girl he had been corresponding to for the past 3 weeks.  In spite of my constant encouragement, I would not consider him a hunter in the love category.  Boy #3 and Anna* live in separate cities, but he is willing to drive the distance for love.   She mentioned that she wanted to talk to him before they met for the first time.  Instead of asking for her number to pursue a relationship, he gave her his phone number. Big shocker, she never called! Right?  A hunter would have asked for her number and given her a call within 24 hours. (Lauren comments it is ok to text someone to ask when a good time to talk is. This will avoid the constant phone tag situation that can take place. Plus, it gives the woman a heads up what your number is, so she won't put you straight to voice mail when you call that first time.) 

Can a girl be a hunter?

 Sure, ready, aim, fire!  She can make the effort and hunt, but she'll probably always end up doing the nurturing, the planning, and care-taking for the relationshipSometimes men do need a little pushing, whether it's from their mother or a girl.

According to, "Spanish women are the most likely to initiate romantic contact with a member of the opposite sex, and it was followed by Poland, the Dominican Republic, and Argentina. The U.S., sadly, was almost tied for last place with Ecuador." 

Take it from Patti! She responded in a recent interview:
"I feel so sorry for the women. I love the women, they’re beautiful. But the men (in Canada)are too passive for me. They take forever and they always think they can do better, they’re too slow. I think Calgary millionaires are the fastest. They are cold, they’re in the middle of nowhere and there’s no women. It’s like being in the middle of Alaska. Vancouver is getting better because they go to Seattle to find their women. Montreal is a whole different ball of wax. But I think the Toronto guys are just too passive-aggressive. I have to be honest with you, I’m not a fan of them. I would like to teach them more to be a hunter."

Lauren K. says the hunt or chase should not stop after the first date or two. Patti says for every three times a man initiates, a women can initiate in return. The 3:1 ratio, which is quite similiar to Caribou and Chloe's ratio. If you don't remember that article, click here.

Go after what you want. Who's your next victim, 
oops, we mean love target?
Love Kudos is here to guide you men on how to be a "hunter." 

Have the conversation, ask for the date.  
What's the worst that could happen?  
(She says no and you never have to think about her again.)

Need help from Love Kudos, 
please contact us: 
  Membership Registration Form
 LK Services, or email

No comments:

Subscribe via email

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner

Recent Comments

Powered by Blogger Widgets

Donations Accepted

If you enjoy our stories and have become a fan, please join us by making a donation in order for us to continue our services.

We thank you in advance for your support. ($5 minimum)