Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Text Break-Up: Hold off on the Kisses for a Bit

Written by Lauren K. of Love Kudos

Part 1 of the Case Study on Break Up Protocol: The Build Up

In the digital age where some days we spend more time on Facebook than face-to-face time, it is no wonder why so much miscommunication occurs in relationships. Although I have been known to text to express spiciness in my relationships or slight upset, I have never felt it was appropriate to end a relationship only through texting. (If you go out twice, you are under no obligation to have an awkward phone conversation of why there is just not a connection between the two of you.) Texting is another means to add confusion to dysfunctional relationships. As one love expert reports, "Text breakups are just another way to avoid confrontation."

I recently became a victim to the text break up and I am not going to be reticent on how he did it. In nearly a year of blogging about love and relationships in general, I have yet to have a case study that sheds a negative spotlight on any one particular male.  Well, that is about to change ...

I am writing this article in the hopes that men and women will think twice before they go MIA, AWOL, or cowardly break up with someone via text. There is a second call to action I am hoping will resonate with the singles out there: women and men, trust your relationship instincts. If your gut says you should not date this person, perhaps you should listen to your intuition. I am just going to give you the highlights here and you can honestly tell me if I am being oversensitive or possibly misinterpreting his words.

Here is a little background … I dated this guy, D-Master*, for about six weeks. We met at a party, so we did not meet online. I turned him down initially, because of religious differences, but I eventually surrendered and accepted his romantic advances after he convinced me that if we ever got serious, he would consider converting to Judaism. He spent part of his free time learning about about the history of the Jewish people to be able to converse with me about my heritage. How sweet is that? I am not opposed to dating someone outside my faith, as long as they know what a blintz is and are willing to support my aspiration to raise my children in a Jewish home. On our first date, he even attended and mingled at a Jewish mixer post a Shabbat potluck. I thought, wow, I think I have just found an amazing guy. Perhaps, he will even get me to chill out some. He does yoga about five times a week and I can’t sit in any position for more than 30 seconds without going bizerk or becoming fidgety.

Throughout dating him, he went out of his way to do nice things that were “boyfriend” duties. He helped me move, did handy work around my place, and offered to pick me up and take me to the airport. I did decline some of his offers, because I really did not want him to think that I was taking advantage of his kind nature. I reciprocated by making him dinner, giving him back rubs, and being the supportive listener.

I constantly had to slow him down from his futuristic planning, because I truly believe in my grandmother’s motto, “Too much, too soon, and then you’re done.” Two weeks into dating, he asked me to a concert that was three weeks away. I said, “Let’s just take things one step at a time.” I ended up giving in to his fast track relationship habits and next thing I know, he has met half of my good friends in Austin and I am asking him if he wants to talk to my friend on the phone from NY.

Well, as we all know, the beginning is just the sneak preview, and sometimes the movie just does not meet the hype. I think I have laid enough of the foundation here for you to get an idea of the dynamics of our relationship.

To continue reading this story, read Part II ...

* - Code name D-Master is short for Douche Master and is used to to protect the anonymity of the person involved.

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** - Kayaking picture from
** - Break up picture from

1 comment:

Skippy said...

I've enjoyed Reading your blog about dating. In my day guys just stopped calling and break ups were face to face. Those were simpler times when fix ups were common. People have always been cowards when breaking bad news. No one gets joy from breaking up.

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