Thursday, December 23, 2010

5 People you Should Never Sleep with, but ....

Written by Guest Blogger, Sam Jones*
Edited by Lindsay and Lauren of Love Kudos

So you want to be naughty over the holidays, so you can start the new year fresh! I've been thinking about all the people I would like to have a romp in the bed with. I have been fantasizing about people I would like to sleep with, but I know I shouldn't cross the line. In spite of my care free attitude about my love life, I do care about how my behavior might impact my friends, family, and work situation. Maybe one day, I will take the plunge and sleep with someone on my "Top 5 People you Should Never Sleep with."

So, here is my list. Feel free to write me your mischievious ideas for an off the limits hook up.

1. The Coworker / Boss. My eyes have drifted down to check out my boss's package. He then notices my glare and shuts his office door. He throws everything on the desk to the floor and then my head perks up and I come back to reality. Maybe you have checked out your coworkers cleavage while you are going over a report together. I know he's married with young children, but it's that steamy taboo scenario I've played in my head over and over again. Or maybe, he is just Hugh Grant from Bridget Jones and has a fiancee over a thousand miles away. Either way, you know it is wrong, but the sex would be oh so passionate.

2. The Youngin'. This guy/girl might still be in school or they might be fresh into the workforce. They really have nothing to offer, but SEX. They have no money, no power. But their youth is radiantly glowing, with the young skin and sexy body, it's hard to resist. In the end, you'll probably end up teaching them your tricks of the trade. But you never know, maybe they might have a trick you've never experienced.

3. The Married. You have met their significant partner and have talked endlessly about their suffering marriage. He or she might have even said he would leave his wife or husband for you. (Once a cheater is pretty much always a cheater. Wait until they walk out the door before you get into his or her pants.)

4. Your Best Friend's Ex. If your best friend ever knew you had feelings for your Ex, it would not be a good thing. If you really want to end your friendship with your so called best friend, sleep with their long-term Ex. Especially if they went out of their way to tell you that person is off your list as a sexual partner. (If you really want to go there with this person, wait at least six months post their relationship and ask him or her if they are still off limits. Although, don't be surprised if you get the same answer as before or a fake answer, "Sure, no problem." There are some people that have chosen love over friendship and it has worked, but you'll have bad karma.)

My Best Friend's Wedding, courtesy of
5. Your Best Friend (Not the one you love, but the one that pines for you.) - Think My Best Friend's Wedding or Rose from Two and a Half Men. Everyone has that guy or girl that we keep on our hook for those days that we feel worthless and want to feel passionate and idolized. We know we should not sleep with them, because it could enhance their endless crush, but we do it anyways. If you do sleep with this person, be clear about your expectations after the dirty deed has ended. True friendships are hard to come by. (Do take a chance on your guy or girl best friend that you have always wondered if there is more. Do not confuse this category with the other.)

What not to do when you go home for the holidays from Love Kudos:

Don't call your Ex
Don't drink excessively in front of your family (save that for your friends.)
Don't drink and drive or do drugs and drive.
Don't tell your family that your present to them is a re-gift.
Don't facebook, instead of spending time with family.
Don't be a downer and complain the whole time about your job, love life, and finances.

* - Idea submitted by Love Kudos follower. Thank you!



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