Monday, December 26, 2011

10 Ways to Provoke and Exasperate a Single Person

Original article posted on howaboutwe.com by Chiara Atik 
Additional commentary by Lauren and Lindsay of Love Kudos

Many of you singletons are probably still cooped up with your families post-Christmas and Hanukkah and are probably going stir crazy. If it has not happened yet, you will probably encounter at least one relative or non-relative that wants to pry into your life and "fix" your single problem. We are here to help you with some witty comebacks to their burning questions about your personal life.

The good thing about being single is that people are usually pretty willing to talk about your romantic life, because, let's face it, it's probably more entertaining than that of your seriously coupled-up friends.  The bad news? Sometimes, people will want to talk about your love life regardless of whether or not you're in the mood to talk about it. And they will have opinions. And questions. And if you're single for long enough, a lot of these are gonna start sounding the same...

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Dating Beettlejuice: A Metaphor for a Past Relationship

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Written by Lindsay K. Love Kudos
Edited by Lauren K.


We all start out with the best intentions when we start to date someone.  It is the process of getting to know someone and deciding if you want them in your life or not. Sometimes we continue to date a person, even though the little guy in the back of our head keeps telling us, "This isn't right." This happened to me recently. My friends all agreed and frequently told me he wasn't for me and to move on.  Surprisingly, he moved on before I did, because he met someone else.

As I reflect on this failed relationship, I feel that G-d or fate put this new girl in front of him, so he would be distracted from contacting me.  This distraction would allow me to move on emotionally and be open when the right person came along.  I felt I had seen a similar plot, but couldn't remember which movie it came from or if this same scenario happened to another friend.  It took me a couple of days to realize.  I had dated Beetlejuice and lived to tell the story.


Sunday, September 18, 2011

Dating: How to Handle Rejection with Dignity and Integrity

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Written by Lauren K. of Love Kudos
with Commentary by Lindsay K.


All of us have faced rejection at some point in our lives. Rejection comes with taking risks, and without taking risks in life, you are seldom going to achieve success in dating, friendships, or work. How do we define rejection? The dictionary says, “dismiss as inadequate, inappropriate, or not to one’s taste.” No one likes to feel dismissed, inadequate or inappropriate.

However, we do not all live in Disney Land. Even Tenley Molzahn from the Bachelor had to experience rejection from Jake Pavelka before she rode up to her Castle (The Bachelor Pad) to find love with Kiptyn Locke. She is so lucky that Jake rejected her to find true love.
I admit that I have experienced and dealt out my fair share of rejections this past year in dating. I am proud of the way I have handled my dismissals and want to share some best practices with you men and women out there. Unfortunately, I have been disappointed with and taken aback by the immature behavior I have witnessed from guys lately that I have rejected.

This is not a break up guide. Different topic and different protocol accompanies breaking up. This is about how to handle rejection with dignity and integrity. Although it may not appear that women experience rejection at the beginning of dating, because we are not usually the hunters, we do. When a crush is not reciprocated or a guy asks out our friend over us, we feel dejected and REJECTED. How should we handle this?

Rejection: Don't be a Sore Loser

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Written by Lauren of Love Kudos
DON'T BE A SORE LOSER

http://www.socialfresh.com/
At the beginning of online dating, everyone is just trying to get to know each other and all behaviors are magnified and scrutinized. We make judgment calls with very little data and sometimes decide prematurely that we "like" someone. Well, this happened to me recently with someone that lived a couple of hours away. Our first conversation was over an hour and a half and by the end of it, I had already figured out a plan in my mind how we could make the long distance work and how our dogs would become lovers. He has a beige shih-tzu and I have a black and white one. As soon as we said good bye, the texts of endearment began, as well as pictures of his family. I was extremely excited that he was so into me after just a phone conversation. Within the first couple of conversations, we had already covered serious matters such as religion, having children, and marriage. I learned that he was divorced, but had a very amicable break up.

I am not big on letting too much time lapse before the first date, so I definitely pressed to have an in person meeting sooner rather than later. He agreed and we met that following Sunday in Austin. Let me preface that I had a cold and almost cancelled the date, but did not want to delay our first encounter. He took me to Uchi and surprisingly, we actually did not have to wait that long for a table. I was smitten with his looks right off the bat and I could tell he was pleased with my appearance as well. I think he said that my pictures did not do me justice. Conversation flowed, but something felt off for me. It was like talking to Ryan, the too happy go lucky guy, from the bachelor. It seemed there was a lack of sincerity or perhaps I am just more cynical than most. Without divulging details of our conversation, I felt that our personalities were opposite in spite of  sharing so many things in common: religion, family pedigree, love for travel, the outdoors, and children. I really wanted to make this work and offered to buy him dessert at Amy's ice cream afterwards. During dinner and at Amy's, I never felt the urge to touch him, which puzzled me.

I desperately wanted him to meet Chloe to see if she would be a perfect match for his dog so I invited him to meet her at my place. It was a quick meeting and they got along really well. We said good bye with a stilted embrace and I apologized that I could not kiss him due to my cold. I should not have acted contrite, especially since I really did not want to kiss him. After he left, I felt sad and began to second guess my dating instincts. Perhaps, I was being too brash and should give him another chance. We arranged a second date in his city for the following Monday. I wanted to meet Chloe's potential boyfriend and see his digs. I thought perhaps the chemistry would develop in time. The texts of endearment increased in frequency that week and the daily affirmation messages started to feel generic.

Caribou left Chloe at the Altar
Our second date was a bit doomed from the start. I was under personal distress and really wanted to get back to Austin as soon as possible. When I got to his place, he welcomed me with open arms and brought up Chloe to meet Aldo*.  Aldo was more interested in Chloe's green monkey than playing with her. I guess they did not have instant chemistry either. In his defense, he is much older than Chloe. Don't worry, Chloe still has Caribou, but I thought it would be a good idea to expand her dating pool. (He is not the marrying kind). We left the two shih tzu's at home and went to dinner.

He picked out an Italian restaurant in a strip shopping center that was closed on Monday's. He did not call for reservations. This surprised me given his tenacious nature in other aspects of his life. We ended up at a locally owned restaurant a few minutes from his place. It was during dinner when I realized I was 99% sure he was not going to be my husband. Too much of our conversation was anchored to past relationships and talking about our family dynamics.  He did not seem interested in talking about my career plans or about current events. When it comes down to it, there was not shared laughter at the table and I would say dinner could be graded as a B

When we got back to his place, I wanted to leave, but I also felt a little tipsy from the alcohol at dinner and needed to sober up. We went through his DVD collection and finally arrived at a mutual interest to see Snatch. Great flick that created some good banter between us. He subtly tried to show affection towards me, but was not overtly trying to go in for a kiss or cop a feel. Chloe exiled herself to under his desk and then eventually returned to the couch next to me. Finally at about 10:30PM, I announced that I really needed to leave and stood up to see that my poor dog had just thrown up on his couch. I was mortified. So much for a clean getaway. I immediately cleaned it up and partly out of pity and more out of curiosity, I pecked him on the lips, which he reciprocated. I felt nothing. He was somewhat perceptive and asked me if my sweet, little kiss was an I am sorry kiss.

He later indicated that he had a good time that night and continued writing the morning text affirmation messages. "Have an awesome day, have fun tonight, etc." Although I was no longer initiating any correspondence, only responding to his. A week after my second date, I decided to just be straight up and end what had such a promising start. I called him and conveyed in the message that I wanted to talk about things and catch up. He did not rush to return that message. A day later, he texted me confirming receipt of my message and I responded telling him I would call him that night. "Sounds good" was his response.

The small talk / weekend in review conversation went well and then when I eased into the relationship talk, everything went south. I said, "I just wanted you to know that I don't see this blossoming into a relationship. I see this as more as a foundation for a friendship. I feel like something is missing." I was proud of my words and had carefully crafted what I was going to say before the call.  I expected to hear in response, "I am sorry you feel that way. I could sense you were pulling away and I wish you felt differently," or "Are you sure?"


However, what he actually said was, "Yeah, the chemistry is just not there for me. I see you more as a friend too." I was in shock. I guess no one likes to accept rejection. I knew that he was more into me, but he did not want to admit it. I responded, "I am surprised that you would say that given your level of correspondence with me." Then he said the biggest defense response in a harsh tone, "No love lost here on my end." With that, the potenial love connections for Chloe and me were done.

If he had reacted differently, I think we really could have had a friendship and I would have even set him up with another girlfriend. However, given his reaction, I can just imagine what he would be like if we actually had a real relationship, and that is not a pretty sight.

How you end a potential relationship is crucial if you run in the same circles.

Back to article on how to deal with rejection with dignity and integrity.

Rejection: Friends with Benefits (Must be Mutual)

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Written  by Lauren of Love Kudos

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS (Must be Mutual)

I have quite a few guy friends, some of which are former flings or x-boyfriends. This particular guy did not fall into either of these categories. I really consider him just a platonic friend. Jasper* and I have been friends for a few months and is a few years younger than me.  When we first met, I was in a relationship, so he was not given the opportunity to pursue me. In recent months, with my official single status, he has hinted that he finds me attractive and would be open to hooking up. Although, I do find him attractive, I do not want to ever cross that line. On occasion, we go out in group outings for happy hours and engage in athletic activities one-on-one. We share dating disaster stories and also romantic conquests.

By pure coincidence, I happened to have a Saturday night with nothing scheduled and neither did Jasper. We decided to go to see a movie and maybe go to my pool afterwards. He asked me via text what I liked for dessert. Normally, I would say chocolate, but I am trying to reduce my chocolate intake and so I texted back, "Strawberries." The movie theater was just a few blocks from my place. Even though it was in close proximity, he insisted on picking me up from my place and then bought my movie ticket (even after I offered twice). In the theater, he said a few things in my ear to indicate this was not the typical friends sharing popcorn and watching a movie night. My body tensed up and told him that I really just thought of him as a friend. It was very awkward for a little while, but eventually I started to relax. I was certain that I would not have to repeat the "We are just friends" speech again after that. I was wrong of course.

By: da.exblog.biz
When we got back to my place after the movie, it was really too late to go to the pool and I realized that might have been why he thought movie night out was code for "Let's get it on." I told him I no longer wanted to go for a swim. I said, "You can come up for a few minutes to walk Chloe (my dog), it is up to you." He accepts and then asks about dessert. It kind of had slipped my mind, but I was definitely up for some luscious strawberries. He goes to his car and returns with a little cooler containing a bottle of champagne, strawberries, and you probably guessed it, whipped cream. Well, if this was a date, that would have been a nice gesture, and definitely created a romantic mood. However, this just created an extremely uncomfortable situation. He told me how he had experienced some disappointments with women that week and relayed a story to me which showed me he was not keen on picking up disinterest from women. Persistence is a great trait in business and can be with love. You have to be perceptive. It was at this point that he asked me to make out with him. Normally, I might have been flattered, but after I thought I had already set the boundaries previously, I was annoyed. I told him clearly that there would be no making out or anything involving getting naked. He did not take this verbal rejection well. He made attempts to leave, but I convinced him to stay and offered to be a good friend to listen to his plight and try to help him. We ended up watching the last half of "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days" and conversing through most of it.

Jasper was not interested in having a relationship with me, but still wanted more than I was willing to give. He did not handle the rejection with dignity and reacted in haste. Eventually, he accepted the friendship and gave up his desire for "Friends with Benefits." 

How could Jasper have handled the situation better?

Choice 1) He could have indicated prior to meeting for the movies that he wanted this to be a date and there could have been a discussion about expectations for the night. This could have completely avoided the entire awkward scene at my place.

Choice 2) When I indicated at the movie that I wanted to be just friends and he wanted more, he could have accepted it and not come up to my place after the movie.

I do feel fortunate that we were able to get past that incident and move forward with a platonic friendship. Many male / female friendships have to overcome sexual tension hurdles before they reach common ground.

 Back to article on how to handle rejection in dating with dignity and integrity.






Friday, August 19, 2011

The "Movie at my House" Date

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Written by Lindsay K. of Love Kudos
Edited by Lauren K.

So, you've met for coffee, hit it off, and have gone into phase two of dating. You now want to get some sexy time in. The out to dinner and a movie date is not necessarily going to get you on the home premises. By the 4th or 5th date, if things are still going strong, the next step is the infamous "watch a movie at my place" date.  Or "I want to make you dinner" date.  But here at Love Kudos, we know that's really code for something else.

Sunday, July 31, 2011

Negotiating Relationships

The following video is from Kids in the Hall, a Canadian sketch comedy group.  The skit is about 2 lawyers, Gerald and Gerald, who are negotiating the dating terms for of their clients, Dennis and Lori.  Dennis' lawyer offers an index sized proposal for dinner, dancing, and intercourse.  On the flip side, Lori's lawyer proposes a 17-week dating commitment guidelines.  Please watch the following video and let us know your thoughts!


Yeah, that's about right....
 


Video Suggested by Lindsay of Love Kudos

Please share your story about a negotiated relationship.
 

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

The Date Went Straight Down the Toilet


Written by Grant Jameson, Guest Blogger of Love Kudos
Edited by Lauren K.

I used to have a rule: Never bail on a date. Now, obviously I would never use the old “let me just powder my nose for a minute” routine, because, a) I’m not a horrible human being, and b) I don’t carry a compact with me. By “bailing,” I instead mean cutting a date short at a convenient moment by skipping dessert after dinner or opting not to go out for drinks after a movie. My rule basically meant that I would stick with a date for as long as the girl wanted to let it go because, hey, it could always lead to sex, or, more importantly, it could always lead to a good story.


However, my date with Kat (not her real name, for reasons soon to be clear) taught me better. I should have seen many signs telling me to punch out at the first available moment. Even before the date, there was the last-minute notification that her friend was with her, and then the sudden change of location from Red River to **shudder** Dirty 6th Street.

Makeovers Don't Have to Be Extreme

Written by Lauren K. and Lindsay K. of Love Kudos
Love Kudos is at your service.

Online profiles inevitably are meant to be public, but why do some people have a hard time asking others to look their profiles over? Your friends and family may in fact know you better than you know yourself. I am not suggesting they write your essays, but you might want them to weigh in on your pictures and your "About Me" section. The end goal for most people with online dating is to find a husband or wife, so swallow your pride and get a profile review today. I recommend that you ask a friend of the opposite sex to check it out, because they know more or less what their gender is looking for when they browse through hundreds of profiles out there. However, not everyone has a friend they trust implicitly to be honest and thorough with the editing.

Now, if you are still uncomfortable with your close loved ones editing or critiquing your profile, contact Love Kudos. We will look at your profile objectively and for less than the cost of two months of a membership, you can have a revamped, much improved profile that will generate more responses. If you are not getting at least a 50% response rate from the emails you send out with your online dating site, you need to revisit your profile and the messages you are sending out. We guarantee you will increase your response rate and be receiving more emails from quality people after our profile review. Remember, Love Kudos' mission is to help you embrace love like you have never been hurt before.

This was from the JDate Blog ...

The other day a female friend of mine who had recently joined JDate asked me to take a look at her profile in order to potentially identify any areas that she could change or improve. While I am far from an authority on what people should put in their profile I did agree to take a look at hers since I have a pretty good idea of what the average male is looking for when he reads through a woman’s profile. Unfortunately, the problem I encountered during this process was that I already think my friend is great and know pretty much everything about her, which ultimately caused me to read through her profile with rose colored glasses on.
However just because I wasn’t able to give a particularly helpful assessment of my friend’s profile doesn’t mean that having someone with a different perspective read over your profile isn’t a good idea.
There you have it, even JDate recommends having multiple people review your profile in order for you to put your best foot forward. Essay editing, profile review, and photo sessions are all part of our online dating service options.   This summer, we will offer a special discount of 25% to the first three people that sign up for a profile critique, starting on tomorrow, June 23rd. You can purchase services directly from the site.




    
 Update Profile (25% off) - Summer Special $48.75

We are invested in helping you find and maintain love. Contact Love Kudos today!

Friday, June 10, 2011

Fine Wine and Age Range in Dating


Written by Lauren K. of Love Kudos

Welcome back! Have you forgotten about Love Kudos? -  Become a fan of Love Kudos on Facebook, follow us on Twitter, and join the conversation. Also, if you have a love issue, don't forget to write a letter to Love Kudos to ask about your love quandary. We are here for you. Dating etiquette services and more.

I have always expected men and women to be like fine wine, where we get better in time, with a peak of greatness in our 30's professionally, physically, and mentally. However, I have recently discovered that this is a false assumption that needs to be reconciled.

My parents, sister, and friends have all stated that I should be dating older men because they are more mature and know what they want. However, I can unequivocally say that age is a simply a number.  It is about your phase in life and what experiences you have encountered before you meet. 

Friday, May 20, 2011

Friends with Benefits ... Can it Ever Work?

Written by Lauren K.  of Love Kudos
Edited by Lindsay K. 

Since college, we have all become familiar with the term "Friends with Benefits." Many of us have had flings or sampled an arrangement that even resembled, "Friends with Benefits." The question is, can it ever really work and be mutually beneficial for both parties? Before I delve into this topic further, I think it is important to have a framework for what I am referring to as "Friends with Benefits." I am an endorser of the About.com definition below:

"Friends with Benefits" refers to an agreement between two people who are both friends and physically attracted to one another to share a sexual relationship. Neither party is considered committed to the other, and both can start dating someone else at any time with prior warning. A friends with benefits arrangement is not considered dating, a relationship or even casual dating by most people who use the term.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

When an Ex Resurfaces ... Blasts from the Past

Written by Lauren K. of Love Kudos
She just received a "feeler" from an ex.
Should she respond? 

Men and women both participate in it, but for different reasons and potential outcomes. Some people call them "boomerangers," others call them "blasts from the pasts." They are people that were in your life for a specific period of time in a romantic capacity, but for mutual or not so mutual reasons, have been cut out of your life and then RETURN out of nowhere. Most of the time their texts, emails, or phone calls are unsolicited by you.

In the past month, I have received several "blasts from the past" texts and emails from guys who ranged from people I hooked up with to people I dated briefly.

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Love Kudos' Happy Hour (May 4th)

 
This Wednesday, May 4th, 2011 Love Kudos is hosting their 2nd social mixer.

Come to Love Kudos' mixer for your recipe for LOVE.

RSVP via Facebook


Who: Anyone who supports the cause of LOVE
Time: 6:30 - 8:30 PM
When: Wednesday, May 4th

Where: Red's Porch on 
                S. Lamar / Close to 290
                3508 South Lamar Boulevard
                Austin, TX 78704

Eat some chips and queso, drink some margaritas, and make new friends.


$5 minimum donation for entrance to mixer. Fun photo booth.
Cash or check only at door. 10% goes to Charity: Town Lake Animal Shelter

Pay entry donation early:

https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=UFYEHBT924ZTL


Don't worry, this is an informal atmosphere. No speed dating or other high pressure games.


Add a side of guacamole to your love.....
Here is a suggested guacamole recipe for you.


Mix the following ingredients for your perfect match with chips.

• 2 ripe avocados
• 1/2 red onion, minced (about 1/2 cup)
• 1-2 serrano chiles, stems and seeds removed, minced
• 2 tablespoons cilantro leaves, finely chopped
• 1 tablespoon of fresh lime or lemon juice
• 1/2 teaspoon coarse salt
• A dash of freshly grated black pepper
• 1/2 ripe tomato, seeds and pulp removed, chopped
Garnish with red radishes or jicama.

Please RSVP Yes -to the mixer, so we can reserve the right amount of space.


Love Always,  
Lindsay and Lauren of Love Kudos


Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Internet Porn gave me an STD

Written by Lindsay K. of Love Kudos
Edited by Lauren K. with commentary

We all know that men are more visual than women. The numbers don't lie when they say the porn industry generates $10 billion to $14 billion a year in annual salesI'm not the type of person who seeks out porn, but I was conducting some Love Kudos' research on female orgasms.  All of a sudden, my AVG Anti-Virus alerted me that my computer was infected by a virus!   I didn't click on any downloads or watch any videos.  How is it possible that my poor Thinkpad had an STD? Was it curable?

Wine Enthusiast Date Recommendation

Written by Lindsay K. of Love Kudos
This in the bottle of wine I purchased.


This past weekend I had a wonderful date because my date had planned to take me to a wine tasting class at Water 2 Wine. He knew I favored wine over other alcoholic drinks and suggested we go.  I love wine, but I never really knew why I liked a particular glass of Merlot or Cab.  Terms like medium or full bodied, tart, dry, sweet, acidic, lingers or falls off can be used to describe wine.  And what are tannins, legs and tears? I also wanted to learn what which wines pair with certain foods.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

What's in a Profile Name (Handle)?

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Written by Lindsay and Lauren of Love Kudos



Recently Lindsay was offered a free - one month upgrade to A-list status on Okcupid.com. So, what are the perks to this special service? You can change your handle, expand your search matching options, hide when you view people's profiles, and a few other add ons you can check out if you want to pay and become an A-lister.





Lindsay's A-Lister Experiment:

First thing I did was change my handle from LoveKudos (##) to SweetPetite (##). According to About.com, "a handle (or user name) is the name other members of the dating site will use as your "name". On most dating sites, a handle cannot be used by two different members, thus making it a unique identifier. Very few online dating companies who ask for your real first name like Yahoo Personals does, but in these cases it is highly recommended that you create a fake user name anyway, to ensure your own personal safety."

I like to change my handle every now and then, so now as we are entering into spring, I felt it was time for a change.  This change has generated a lot more initial interest, more winks, emails, and favorite bookmarkings than my previous screen name did. I did not add any new pictures or change any content to solicit this increase in activity. I simply changed my handle and was upgraded to A-list status. It could be the spring season that's getting guys more outgoing, but I think there's something to the name.

Should I conclude that handles with the word "Love" are a turn off for guys? Love Handles is not the fat area around your waist. Lauren surmises that it is not the word "love" that was a turn off, but the change to petite that attracted new interest. Guys tend to like petite girls, especially guys that are under 6'0" tall. As a form of entertainment, we want to share with you some less attractive handle names that you should avoid and some tips on ways to create an eye catching handle that will generate the type of interest you are looking for.   It's a promotion just like a tag line.  You want people to click on your "website" for the right reasons. 

Handles that Turn-Off Women:

BigBoobieLover: Perverted
"Name of an ex boyfriend": Triggers memories
droopy51073 or Bettyboop: Cartoon characters
pigbenislols32 : Again, perverted and not LOL
lonesome77x: Desperado 
lamename03: Uninterested in a real relationship
iworkout214: Tool

Handles that Turn-Off Men:
  
Wildchild3066: Loose, good for one night stand
Little_Kitty25: Has too many cats  
Smashleyann: Alcoholic
pessimystica:  Debbie Downer 
more2love_pal: Fat
heatherthegreat: Narcissistic 
1-Sexy-Cougar: Name explains it all

Possible Positive Profile Handles: (could be characteristic of who you are, what you like, or where you live)
 
Skibunny2345
Tallfunin_ATX
SedonaLover1975
StandupforFun2010
BrightSmile6530 (Make sure you have a good smile in it)
LTK23Love
FinancialGuru75

A Love Kudos reader recently shared with us that she was snipped from the opportunity to date someone due to her sarcastic handle name. She found out, because he married her sister. No need to worry too much about the name, just heed our guidelines and you will catch the attention of some great prospects. 

Please submit your stories to lovekudos@gmail.com.  

We would love to hear from you!



Sunday, March 13, 2011

He is Just Not that into You ... (FACE THE TRUTH)

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Written by Glamour Magazine
Commentary by Lauren of Love Kudos

Love Kudos' just blogged about a major source of tension that women have with dating, how men shy away from Defining the Relationship.

In continuation on this topic, here are some tips from Glamour to show you when a man is never going to commit to a relationship with you. (Lauren sometimes disagrees with the Glamour Love Gods. What do you think?)

He texted,
"I can't wait to see you tonight."
1. He texts instead of calls, or he texts more often than he calls. When a guy likes a girl, he wants to hear her voice. “Texting is not an easy way to communicate—it’s an easy way to avoid communication,” says Mike.

*Disagree – texting can be a way to stay connected without interruption of work, family and other things, etc. It can also be a personality preference or a generational difference. Guys under 30, have had access to dating with texting their entire adult life. They probably have never even had a land line in their house or apartment. If he NEVER calls, that can be a source of concern.

Marie Claire Magazine
2. He finds reasons to blow you off or be late more times than not. Maybe he’s just flaky or disorganized, you say? Don’t make excuses. If a guy likes you and wants to continue hanging out with you, he’ll find a way to do so. Adds Mike: “I’ll come in to work 1 hour early if I want to get off in time to pick up cooking ingredients for a dinner date with someone I like.”

*Agree - People lead busy lives and sometimes with much responsibility, but men will make a woman a priority if they see her as a long-term potential. However, if you’re throwing a fit because they had to stay late to help someone or break plans because of an unexpected friend in need, then it’s you that needs to take a look in the mirror and grow up.

3. He talks to his ex-girlfriends. Nothing makes a guy forget his ex like a girl he wants to be with. If he continues talking with an ex, that’s the first sign that he’s either not over a prior girlfriend or he’s just not that in to you.

*Agree and Disagree – If he is talking to an Ex-girlfriend, that is single, there is reason for concern. However, there are many guys that can have platonic relationships with their Ex's if they were the ones who ended the relationship and their Ex has moved on to a new relationship. It can be a bad sign or it can be no big deal depending on the unique circumstances. Stand back and evaluate before coming to a blanket conclusion.

4. He avoids introducing you to his friends. He should be proud of you, want to show you off, and want to include you in his life.

Agree – there comes a time when introductions are appropriate, but only when both feel like the relationship has reached a certain degree to do it. Once family is involved the layers of communication get a little more tricky. It’s nice to draw out that special private time, nothing wrong with that.

CASE STUDY from LAUREN: If the guy is truly sure about you, he will want to include you in his life as soon as you are ready. I once had a guy ask me to his birthday party for the following weekend on our first date. I was not certain about how I felt about him and wanted to figure out if I liked him first without any other people involved, so I respectfully declined. He later on agreed it was a good move, because the person who drove him that night, got wasted and in a fight with his latest fling. There was quite a bit of drama at the party that I definitely did not need to be privy to.

Why Women Want to Define the Relationship


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Written by Lindsay K. of Love Kudos
Edited and Commentary by Lauren K.

Women love labels, most men tend to avoid them.  I have heard thousands of stories concerning women wanting to know how the guy they've been romantically seeing feels about them.  They want to "Define the Relationship"  or (DTR) it as what's its referred to in the language of love.  We ask the DTR question to protect our hearts and to have an open and honest conversation.   We are insecure with the status because the other person isn't giving us the encouragement we are seeking.

With a little internet research, I've summarized some interesting responses:

Friday, February 4, 2011

Valentine's Day Romance Guide 2011 by Love Kudos


Written by Lauren and Lindsay of Love Kudos
 
 
Valentine's Day is less than 10 days  away and whether you are single, dating someone new, or married for a few years, it can stress you out. Love Kudos has put together our annual Valentine's Day guide to help infuse some romance into your life. This guide is for both couples and singletons.

Question from a Reader: I just started dating this woman, can I ask her out for Valentine's Day? We have gone out three times and I live out of town.

Answer: Lauren says, of course you can ask her out. If she is into you and you are #1 in her dating mix, she will say yes. Be prepared though that you might not be #1 right now and she might not be ready for exclusivity yet. I just would not recommend a first date for Valentine's Day.


Monday, January 24, 2011

The Bachelor .... Brad Womack "Second Time's a Charm"? (Love Kudos' Analysis)

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Written by Lauren K. of Love Kudos
With Commentary by Lindsay K.

US Weekly Magazine
Has Brad changed this time around on the Bachelor?
After watching the show for three episodes, I can definitively say he is approaching dating completely differently this time around. However, will that lead to a different result ultimately? 

Here is my analysis, Love Kudos' style:
Brad definitely is looking for physical connections (like he did the first time around), but he is not confusing them with the emotional connections he is building with those 10+ women. I met Brad briefly one time at one of his bars, Molotov, and from afar, I admire his decision to not propose to either women on the 7th season of the Bachelor.


Courtesy of Buddytv.com
I am just not sure why he did not do what Ali did and save both Jeannie and Deanna the torment and excitement of getting ready for that final rose ceremony. I know I would have needed a few sessions of hypnotherapy to erase that memory of standing in front of my prince and having him publicly reject me, and tell me although he caress for me deeply, he is just not in love with me. Yeah, well, you loved making LOVE to me, right? Once again, most men can ultimately separate the two and we as women need to train ourselves to do this.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Facebook Dating and Those Who Hide Behind Social Media

Written by Lindsay K. of Love Kudos

Forget all those other online dating websites like Match.com, Okcupid.com, Jdate.com, and Plentyoffish.com. Those websites are so 2010!  And who needs to talk on the phone anymore, when you got texting and IM?  Become a a young hipster and join the world of facebook dating(SARCASM)
 So, how do you Facebook date?  I can't disclose all of my secrets, but I want to talk about why people hide behind social media, like Facebook and Twitter.


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