11 Reasons He Dumped You

One of Marie Claire's dating bloggers shares some of the reasons why he's bailed on relationships in the past.

By Rich Santos (for the full article: MSN.com)

I was flipping through a Women's Health recently (I admit it), and I noticed an interesting poll. Women cited the following reasons as the most common breakup reasons: He changed. We weren't compatible. He cheated on me.

When I was little, it drove me crazy when my parents supported "No" with "Because I said so." I always wanted a reason. I'm not sure if knowing why always helps, but perhaps if you know common reasons guys break up with girls, you'll at least be able to see it coming. So, here are mine:

The First Down and Two Minute Warning in Dating

First and Last 10 minutes of a First Date - The Love Kudos Analysis


Written by Lauren K. and Lindsay K.
 

It has been proven that the first and last 10 minutes of a date are the most crucial. How you begin and end your date can determine your relationship fate.  Will there even be a 2nd date? A study conducted by Artemio Ramirez and Michael Sunnafrank with college students on the first day of class, suggests that within just 10 minutes of meeting, people decide what kind of relationship they want with a new acquaintance. We definitely bring all of our past experiences and stereotypes with us when we meet a person and size them up. To put things into football terms, we are calling the first ten minutes of a date, the opportunity to get a 1st down and the last ten minutes of the date, the "two minute warning" time.

Top 10 Commandments of Online Dating

Written by B. Katz of SingleEdition.com for JPeopleMeet.com
Graphics added by Lauren K. of  Love Kudos

Turning the Ten Commandments into a comedy routine. We apologize in advance if anyone is offended. Lauren says, "Remember to laugh and know that all rules are meant to be broken at times."


Let's face it. Internet dating can be like you're suddenly living in Sodom or Gomorrah - there are few rules to live by, good deeds to perform or books with lessons to teach us. To help you fulfill your obligations when there are essays to fill out, pictures to upload and Internet etiquette to remember, here is a helpful list of commandments to guide you:

Dating Overlap Scenario: In Depth Analysis

Written by Lauren K. of Love Kudos

So, we discussed what possibly can happen as a result of the dating overlap problem, but let's take a more in depth look at why this occurs in relatively urban populations.

First off, when you post your profile on a niche dating site like Catholic Singles or Jdate, you are bound to have at least "interest overlap" due to the limited local population with your religious requirements. However, are we supposed to completely eliminate this option to meet people if ultimately we would like to end up with someone from the same religion? I don't think so. Although I have taken holidays from the online dating world, I have found that when I meet people offline they are not always looking for a relationship. Often times, the number one thing we have in common is physical attraction or a specific sport.

Top 3 Dating Commandments

Written and compiled by Lindsay K. of Love Kudos - LKx2

There are tons for tips and rules, written and unspoken, about how to behave and treat others when it comes to dating.  Do this, act like that. There are so many possibilities and behaviors to take into account.  Here's a quick survey of 3 top dating commandments from willing participants.  Please add your own in the comment section. 

This is just for fun!

Lindsay K.
1. Be Honest.
2. It's him/her, not you.
3. Have fun.

Tangled Web of Love: Dating Overlap Problem

Written by Lauren K. of Love Kudos

I live in a city of approximately 1 million people according to the Austin Chamber of Commerce. However, it seems like I live in a tangled web of about 5000 people that I constantly see at bars, clubs, restaurants, grocery stores, the gym, and even on the street. It is appealing to be in a place where everyone knows your name, but this concept lacks some charm when your pool of single men is limited to about 200 people. As most of our Love Kudos readers already know, I am a member of both Jdate and Match in the pursuit to find one male to enhance my life. Well, lately I have found that this is becoming an increasing more difficult task due to a "dating overlap" problem.

Wardrobe Overhaul - Your Personal Style

Written by Guest Blogger Voltaire

One of the most important parts of being a successful male is having a well-defined personal style. Having a clear style gives you confidence, purpose, and shows others that you stay true to yourself by allowing your outward appearance reflect your inner personality.     

Time Investment to Find Love

Written by Lindsay K. of Love Kudos LKx2

How much are you willing to invest in love?  People in the U.S. currently spend millions of dollars on their attempt to find love.  Those dollar amounts can't even compare to the amount of time you spend thinking, talking, and/or dreaming of a love connection.


Is it all just a waste of time or can we chalk it up to learning experience?

Love Karma: What Goes Around, Comes Around

So, Sally finally found someone that treated her right ... 
(Part II on the "Lack of Love": Exit Interview)

A personal account from Sally, a guest blogger of the Love Kudos

image from cartoonstock.com

I went out with a nice guy a few times named Joe. On our second date, he took me to a great restaurant (you know, the kind reserved for anniversaries). Really, he was a great guy and I kept seeing him because I wanted my feelings of friendship to develop into romance. I just knew the chemistry was lacking. We never even made out, kissed, or even held hands, because I didn't feel a physical connection. Eventually, I just kind of flaked on him to date other guys. Sometimes, I even cancelled on him on the day of. I felt bad and a bit guilty for treating him this way. This guy didn’t deserve this from anyone, especially not from me.

Finally, I sent him a text saying that I was sorry for being so flakey and that he deserved better. Well, he called my bluff and sent a text saying that he thought I just wasn’t interested. I said, well, that too. Why couldn’t I just be upfront? Why not give him an exit interview?

Why don’t we just tell people what they did right, what they did wrong, or that the connection wasn't there? It must have been my own karma that led me to getting blown off by Jake. (Refer to Exit Interview.) From now on, I’m going to let the good guys know that it’s not them and the players or scummy guys know that they are the reason I no longer want to date them. Hopefully, I’ll get the same respect when the situation is reversed.

Edited by Love Kudos and written by a guest blogger.
 

  

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The "Lack of Love" Exit Interview

So, we have talked about the mini-break up before and what Love Kudos recommends. However, we know that is not how most people operate in the dating arena. So, what would you say to someone you briefly dated who asked you for an honest answer why it didn't work out?

Many long term relationships end after much arguing and there’s no debate why the relationship is over. One party may not want it to end, but he or she knows why it just isn't working anymore. Even with the ending of short-term relationships, both parties pretty much know why (one is too busy, no chemistry, value differences, you name it). What about the relationship that has just begun, seems to be progressing, but has an expiration date that only one party is privy to. Poof! It's over without any blatant warning signs. Has this happened to you?

This blog is a collection of thoughts and ideas from Sally, a guest blogger and Lauren K. of  Love Kudos.

An Amazing Date, but No Follow Up

A personal account from Lauren K. of the Love Kudos Duo - LKx2 -

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There are certain circumstances where I would have loved to do an Exit Interview with a particular guy. I am embarrassed to admit this, but when I was a lot younger, and not as wise as I am now, I called a guy after an amazing first date. We met through jdate.com of course. I do want to preface that we did not talk on the phone prior to our meeting and probably only exchanged a couple of emails before setting up the date. (This is not my usual dating protocol.)

It really was a great first date,
filled with multiple make out sessions and some minor undressing. We met at an Italian Bistro in the Dupont area. When I sat down at the pizzeria bar area, I was instantly attracted to him and couldn't stop smiling. After a little while, it became apparent that the attraction was mutual when he mentioned other activities he would like to do later in the night. We went to three different locations, one of which was the top of an unfinished hotel in Washington DC with a perfect view of the Capitol and the Washington monument. It was nearly 2AM when he dropped me off at my car and gave me one last kiss goodbye. The only casualty of the evening was one of my earrings, lost on the streets of Washington DC I presume. There was not any doubt in my mind that he would call. He even mentioned going skiing together in the Rockies in the future. (He had just come back from Vail the day before.)

So, after waiting 4 days for my post date call, I broke down and came up with an excuse to contact him. HERE IS WHAT NOT TO DO. LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES!

Case Study #3 - The Blanton Bad Fish

A Personal Account from Lindsay K. of the Love Kudos Duo

I have always thought that art museums could be a romantic place to meet a potential man.  My dream came true when I attended the first Friday's at the Blanton Museum of Art, in downtown Austin.  While standing in line for a drink, I started to make small talk with this cute guy behind me, Jeremiah.*  He was a little quiet and reserved, but seemed interested in getting to know me.  We walked around the museum, looking at the art, and providing our own commentary on each work.  And he finally asked for my phone number.  

Photo from Flickr.com