Monday, January 24, 2011

The Bachelor .... Brad Womack "Second Time's a Charm"? (Love Kudos' Analysis)

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Written by Lauren K. of Love Kudos
With Commentary by Lindsay K.

US Weekly Magazine
Has Brad changed this time around on the Bachelor?
After watching the show for three episodes, I can definitively say he is approaching dating completely differently this time around. However, will that lead to a different result ultimately? 

Here is my analysis, Love Kudos' style:
Brad definitely is looking for physical connections (like he did the first time around), but he is not confusing them with the emotional connections he is building with those 10+ women. I met Brad briefly one time at one of his bars, Molotov, and from afar, I admire his decision to not propose to either women on the 7th season of the Bachelor.

Courtesy of
I am just not sure why he did not do what Ali did and save both Jeannie and Deanna the torment and excitement of getting ready for that final rose ceremony. I know I would have needed a few sessions of hypnotherapy to erase that memory of standing in front of my prince and having him publicly reject me, and tell me although he caress for me deeply, he is just not in love with me. Yeah, well, you loved making LOVE to me, right? Once again, most men can ultimately separate the two and we as women need to train ourselves to do this.

Back to Brad ... He now sees that he sets the tone for how carefree and full of substance his conversations can be with these women. He makes the women he likes, and wants to get to know better feel safe and special. How does he achieve this?

By following these basic and somewhat advanced dating techniques.

1) Through major eye contact, subtle signs of affection

2) Checking in with them to see how they are feeling throughout this process.

3) Trying to understand their frustrations and disappointment associated with the group dating process.

4) Revealing his imperfections in a comical light. He can't sing at all, but yet he goes to a recording studio on a date and picks a very romantic and special song that is dear to Ashley H.'s heart.

5) Asking open ended questions about their hopes, dreams, past, and giving these women the freedom to "tell all." (He will still judge them later.)

Why the dating process on the Bachelor / Bachelorette is full of pitfalls:

1) The aggressive ones always take the early lead and sometimes great girls get dismissed before they even have one on one time. The bachelor or bachelorette sees a staged version of that person and does not get exposed to their private world until very late in the process.

2) Many women and men are there to elevate their modeling or acting careers by going on the show. Most people who are really accomplished in their careers can't simply take off for 7 weeks from their jobs, so it diminishes the quality of the dating pool the bachelorettes and bachelors are provided with. Ali and Ed, great candidates had to leave for work reasons and went on further in the bachelor TV world.

3) Can you really ever get better than a first date where you get serenaded by Seal in a private recording studio, and then go to a roof top for drinks and dessert afterwards? Everything in your ordinary life becomes a letdown. What about a helicoptor ride over the Grand Canyon and a gourmet candlelight dinner in the outdoors afterwards? Romantic yes, but impossible to maintain for anyone other than maybe, the Donald.

4) No one should be pressured to propose with out going through a tragedy, a triumph, and four seasons. This is simply my personal philosophy. Hey if you meet in May, you can still get engaged by December, just see what that person is like through the holidays, Halloween, the heat of the summer, etc.

Molly and Jason Mesnick's Wedding
5) People think of the the show as a game and people's egos are at stake. Upon reflection, it is quite amazing and shocking that Molly took Jason back after getting dumped less than two months before that. She let love guide her path and I commend her for that. Her pride did not get in the way of taking a chance on true love. It is sometimes the quirkier things that have worked out on this show.

6) Most of the time these couples can't live in the same place in the infancy stages of their romance. When they do move in with each other, it is too huge of an adjustment with the amount of time they now are expected to spend with each other. One or both parties needs to find a job and adjust to a new city, which are both stresses on a person's ability to feel adjusted and emotional stable.( Vienna was not my favorite, but I did pity her for for having to put up with Jake's mood swings and lack of support to help with her job search.)

7) The overexposure to the media and pressure to make it to the altar and be the perfect couple. It is amazing that Kristy and Ryan have been able to make it all these years later.
I wish Jason and Molly the best of luck. I admired Molly's ability to take the ultimate unconventional risk on love and give Jason a true second chance. I thought Jason was piece of S... for the manner in which he dumped Melissa on public TV and his utter disregard for her feelings in the process. (To find and maintain love does require a slight element of selfishness, but do not be a complete jerk or bi&*h.  When you finally realize that you are no longer in love with someone, tread lightly on how your convey this message. You should be the messenger.)

Well, Bachelor fans, I welcome public discourse and nods in agreement of my analysis.

Lindsay K. comments, "I admit it.  I watch the Bachelor/Bachelorette series, but it purely for business and research purposes.  There is an entertainment value too. Come on!  It's funny to see girl's mascara running down her face after being rejected by a guy she barely knows.  Rejection hurts, maybe it hurts more if it's front of the entire television watching nation.  I'll let you know when I'm on season 24 of The Bachelor.  And I won't forget the waterproof mascara!  In regards to Brad,  I do commend him for not proposing and eventually going through therapy.  However,  I still see a huge emotional brick wall, even though he states he's lowered his walls and ready for love.  He might be making more eye contact, checking in to see how each of them feel, etc., but I just see don't see him really connecting with the girls...not just yet."

Write in to Love Kudos.
By: Lauren K.

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