Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Dating Beettlejuice: A Metaphor for a Past Relationship

Written by Lindsay K. Love Kudos
Edited by Lauren K.

We all start out with the best intentions when we start to date someone.  It is the process of getting to know someone and deciding if you want them in your life or not. Sometimes we continue to date a person, even though the little guy in the back of our head keeps telling us, "This isn't right." This happened to me recently. My friends all agreed and frequently told me he wasn't for me and to move on.  Surprisingly, he moved on before I did, because he met someone else.

As I reflect on this failed relationship, I feel that G-d or fate put this new girl in front of him, so he would be distracted from contacting me.  This distraction would allow me to move on emotionally and be open when the right person came along.  I felt I had seen a similar plot, but couldn't remember which movie it came from or if this same scenario happened to another friend.  It took me a couple of days to realize.  I had dated Beetlejuice and lived to tell the story.

Movie back story
Barbara (Geena Davis) and Adam (Alec Baldwin) Maitlands are driving home when they swerve to avoid hitting a dog and drive into a lake.  It takes a while for them to figure out that they are deceased.  Their afterlife case worker, Juno (Sylvia Sidney), informs them that they must remain in the house for 125 years.  However, a new family, Charles and Delia Deetzes, and their daughter Lydia (Winona Ryder) move in and redesign the Maitlands perfect country home into a modern home.  Juno informs them that the only way to get rid of the Deetzes is to scare them away, (they are ghosts after all.)  The Maitlands attempts to scare them prove utterly ineffective.  They dig up Beetlejuice, (Michael Keaton), a freelance "bio-exorcist" ghost, in order to help scare away the Deeztes.  However, he becomes self involved and harmful to the living.  In the end, with the help of both families, they are able to defeat Beetlejuice and they live in harmony together.  At the film's conclusion, Beetlejuice is seen waiting in the afterlife reception waiting room, where he angers a witch doctor, who shrinks his head (pictured above.)

For blog worthiness, I am using the movie Beetlejuice as a metaphor for this relationship.  I will be the characters Barbara and Adam Maitlands. Lydia will be referred to as my friends.  Juno, the afterlife caseworker, will be fate or g-d in the general sense.  And Beetlejuice will be the “Guy.”

Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!
My relationship with the "Guy" began as a friendship, but quickly turned to flirtation and romance. About 3 dates in, we had the DTR (define the relationship) where he told me that he didn’t want to date anyone and just wanted to have fun.  In hindsight, that means, “I don’t want to date YOU.”  I was confused because he continued to contact me and wanted to see me.  He encouraged a "Friends with Benefits" set up.  I really liked him since we had a lot of fun together.  I thought Beetlejuice must like me if he wanted to continue to hang out with me. Therefore, I continued to participate in what he called a friendship.  And like Barbara and Adam Maitland, in the movie Beetlejuice, I thought I needed him too.

There were fun and laughter filled nights spent together.  We enjoyed the same types of music and had a similar sense of humor. He did have the best intentions, but at times I felt he was only in it for himself. (Remember, during the movie, Beetlejuice becomes more interested in marrying Lydia so that he can re-enter the land of the living.)  Other times Beetlejuice, was hard to get along with.  He was opinionated, self-involved, rude, and nasty.  An example of this is when I  commented about one of his outfits.  I should have left it for his future girlfriend to fix, but I told him that his black and white pin stripped suits were outdated.  Sure, he had spent a butt load of money on them, but they were out of style.  Instead of taking my constructive criticism, he lashed out at me. There was nothing I could say to calm him down. He was so nasty to me that I never wanted to speak to him again. 

After the pin stripped outfit comment, our romance ended completely.  The next day, he apologized via text for one of his harsh comments, but never acknowledged that the fashion police had finally caught up to him.  It felt like he dropped all contact with me.  So much for the friendship!  I was besides myself and felt abandoned.  It was time to move on.  Our friendship of sorts faded, as he only seemd to call me when he needed something.

About a week went by without any contact from him. Then in a moment of desperation, the calls came in. It was around dinner time when I looked at my phone and I had 6 missed calls and 6 text messages all saying that he was in trouble and he needed me.  My adrenaline started pumping through my veins and thoughts of what possible accident could have occurred raced through my mind.  When I returned his call, I could hear people in the background laughing and talking.  He asked me to come over and said he needed my help.  But there was a catch!  He didn't want any drama because the girl he was dating was also there.  I proclaimed, "Why do you need me if your new girl is there?"  He asked if I was joking.  I stood my ground and he ended the call.  Not less than 5 minutes later, he calls back from a quiet location and insists for me to come over since his girl and her friends went out to dinner. 

As the nice person I am, I went over there and took care of Beetlejuice.  (Plus, I wanted to get the juicy details of who my replacement was.)  I will leave out the details to respect Beetlejuice's privacy, but he was fine in the end.  This new girl, he explained, lived in the same neighborhood and there was "just something about her."  He said they hung out constantly (like we used to do) and even included her roommate.  The roommate was allegedly a stripper.  And did you know strippers are like sneezes?  There is never just one; they come in twos and threes.  When they weren't together, he said that he couldn't stop thinking about her, (like the way he used to think about me.)  He was in awe of this amazing stripper girl, who turns out had a boyfriend, but "they were breaking up that weekend."

We also talked about what was new in our lives and he pointed out his new and fashionable outfit.  (Yeah, you read that correctly.) He went shopping!  This would be our last time hanging out together and pretty much all contact ceased after that night. He made his choice. I can thank Juno for creating the distraction.  To refresh your memory, please watch the scene below from the movie, Beetlejuice.

In conclusion, I don't regret dating Beetlejuice.  It makes for a really great story...and movie too!  I've learned that Juno, my afterlife case worker, is looking out for me.  I've learned to listen to Lydia (aka my friends) when they all give me the same advice to move on.  I've learn not to be disappointed when someone chooses a stripper with a boyfriend over myself.  I've learned to be happy and appreciative for the ones who got away.  

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