Saturday, December 26, 2009

Pain Richter Scale: Put Things In Perspective

Written by Lindsay K. of the Love Kudos duo - LKx2

 We’ve all been rejected in one form or another.  Even our grandparents, parents, and siblings have been rejected.  Whether someone doesn’t respond to your email or wink online, or the person you’ve been dating a few times expresses they are no longer interested in you.  I was pondering why does it hurt so much and how does that pain compare to other longer term breakups? 

Over a year ago, I was emotionally devastated when my boyfriend bowed out of the relationship, as he no longer wanted to work on our problems. We had moved half way across the country together and even got a cat together.  On a scale of 1 to 5, (5 being the most painful) I felt like I experienced a 4.9 on the pain Richter scale.

After some reflection, I thought about how intense that pain of rejection was and then compared that against  the last guy who was interested in me initially, but later lost interest after a couple of dates.  The rejection felt like a 2.4 on my scale.  This guy didn’t even know me or give himself a chance to like me.  Fortunately, in the grand scheme of things, his rejection wasn’t life changing, as we didn’t have mutual friends or live together.  After I rationalized and put this little rejection into perspective, I can move on. After a few days of reflection, my pain Richter scale lowers to 0.3 and I am able to funnel my energy for much better purposes.

The famous quote, “Time heals all wounds, unless you pick on them,” is something that my father told me after my very first boyfriend broke up with me. (Actually, he neglected to tell me the second half of the quote.)  I recommend not dwelling on past relationships.  I don’t believe in, “if I had only done this or that, then we would still be together.”  Something else would have taken the place and would have ended the relationship later. I do recommend having a pity party (and you can cry if you want to) with a best friend, in order to get out all of your frustrations and move on.

Actually, I think it’s amazing the spirit of the heart.  Some people vow that they will never become close to someone again or they never want to get married after a nasty divorce.  Give them a few years, and they will return to love and find someone new.

Lauren K. believes that when one door closes, another one will open.
It is okay to wallow in misery after a break up for a short time, but do not go to the dark side for too long. Then, you might miss some great love connections. Also, do not take the beginning of a relationship too seriously, in regards to lines he says to you or visa versa. You can be open to love, but be aware that it might not work out.
"Get noticed by the right person and embrace love like you have never been hurt before." - Love Kudos x 2-


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1 comment:

Aly said...

Loved keeping it in perspective. Nice job with this one LKx2.

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