Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Mind your P's and Q's (Pictures and Quality) Dating Profile Help

This past weekend, Love Kudos was asked some "love seeking advice" by a blog follower:

Question 1: "For my main profile picture, what should I post to get noticed?"

Pictures are obviously the first thing someone sees when they browse through hundreds of profiles. So, how do you make that great first impression?

Lauren K's Main Profile Picture Examples:

Ex. A) Although this pic shows I know how to have fun, you can't even get a clear view of my face or my back side. I know that guys want to know, does she have a good booty? Plus, there are two other women in the photo. (NO)

Ex. B) The other person is actually just a friend of mine, but the person viewing my profile doesn't know that. Unless stated otherwise, they will naturally assume it is an X-boyfriend or even worse, a current crush. No need to generate jealousy before you meet someone. (NO)

Ex. C) This picture is a partial body shot and face portrait. It reveals that I like to go out and drink, but it is pretty innocent overall. I may or may not be the type of woman that can handle a shot of tequilia. Mr. Right will have to contact me to find out. I am alone, the picture is in focus, and my hair is actually not super frizzy or out of sorts. It is not a glamour or head shot from my former acting career, nor is it a cropped picture with my X-boyfriend on the cutting floor.(YES)

Example C is the only acceptable picture to use for a dating profile. (Group picture shots are ok as long as you make it clear who the people are in the photos.)  

 Top 5 Don'ts for Profiles Overall (MEN):
  •  Physical Appearance - If you are bald, don't hide it by putting up only pictures with you in a hat.
  • Age - If you are over 40, do not put that you are 35. If you look young, be proud of your age.
  • Height - Abide by the 1 inch margin of error. If you are 5'7, you can somewhat legitimately put 5'8. (In the morning at your tallest point in the day, you are on average 1cm taller than you are in the evening.)
  • Income - If you make 35K a year, do not put that you make 100K. Also, if you make over 100K, don't put that you make 35K to rule out the potential gold diggers. (You might rule out strong women with good incomes who are looking for equal income partners.)
  • Hobbies or Interests - Don't post pictures with your latest kill or where you are nearly naked.
Lindsay K. says, "In this computer age, where everyone has a camera phone there should be no reason for you to not have a decent picture of yourself. Don't be shy! Ask a friend or coworker to take your picture if you do not have any pictures alone."Do not attempt to take a webcam picture. They usually produce poor quality pictures and often times, you end up sporting an awkward expression in the process. Additionally, we only recommend you put a couple of pictures of your animals, landscape scenes, or partying adventures in Vegas (if at all). You'll have plenty of time in the future to share your interests, hobbies, and friends with your love interest.

Top 5 Don'ts for Profiles Overall (WOMEN):
  • Physical Appearance - If you are overweight, but are on a diet, don't lie and put your goal weight instead of your actual one. The truth will be revealed on your first meeting anyways. (It is not necessary to list your exact weight, but you should list your body type.)
  • Age - If you are over 35, do not put that you are 30. If you look young, be proud of your age. (I know it is tempting to fudge on the age factor, but you are creating unnecessary deception.)
  • Marital Status - If you are divorced, list it. If you have a child that lives with you, be honest about it. It is not fair to your prospective interests to hide this major piece of information.
  • Income - If you make 35K a year, do not put that you make 100K. Also, if you make over 100K, don't put that you make 35K to rule out the potential sugar mamma seekers. (You might rule out strong men with good incomes who are looking for equal income partners.)
  • Family - Don't post pictures with your neice or nephews unless there is an area where you can explain the ownership of those children.
If you need further guidance on which pictures to choose for your online dating or professional profile, please contact us today. Online dating sites usually have 4-8 photo spots for you to upload pictures. If you are sending out emails to men and women and getting anything less than a 40% positive response rate, you need Love Kudos to boost your chances for a sustainable romantic connection.

 Question 2: "Does profile content really matter to girls?"

 The answer is Yes! There is no denying it. Pictures are very important, but if your profile is lacking major areas filled out, potential readers will either lose interest or make a decision to write or diss you for only superficial reasons. You don't have to write a 1000 word essay in your "about me" section, but it would benefit you to write more than, "how long have you lived in X city" and "why your mom thinks you are such a great catch." Personally, I don't get turned on by the profiles that mention how great their mom thinks they are. Guys, your mom should think you exemplify the perfect combination of Jude Law's looks and John Roberts's intelligence. Some people hate the bar scene, because it can be superficial and difficult to catch somebody's attention in a pool of people. Well, the internet is flooded with internet dating profiles and you want to be noticed in a good way. Profiles are a reflection of who you are and how you want to be portrayed.

Basic Profile Pointers :

  • Use the space in each section given to you effectively. If your profile is bare bones, then a potential mate could conclude you are not really that invested in being in a long-term relationship.
  • Be positive. Maximize your strengths and minimize your limitations.
  • Be confident. Starting your profile with, "I really hate talking about myself, but ..." is a big no no.
  • Have a hook line in your introductory paragraph that is eye catching, but not offensive.
  • Use a screen name that is intriguing or related to your name, initials, or favorite hobby. (EarthMartian2012 or SEXDUDE9680 are NOT ones I would recommend)
Need help with profile picture and content quality? Ask Love Kudos at lovekudos@gmail.com. We accept PayPal.

Written by Lauren K. of the Love Kudos Duo - LKx2
Contributions by Lindsay K.


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1 comment:

ASC said...

I don't see how the picture you choose comes off as a good profile picture. As an attractive, intelligent guy, I ask: Why is this girl getting a picture of herself taken with a drink. Is she a) Someone who takes too many pictures, which is very annoying b) An alcoholic who thinks people will be attracted to her because she is drinking, or c) Posing for a picture that her friend is taking for her internet profile. Either way any of these choices is an instant turn-off. Whats wrong with a spontaneous picture of yourself. One with you having fun. The main purpose of the initial picture is to drive interest into reading the rest of your profile, not to immediately revel yourself as a fraud.

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