Tuesday, November 24, 2009

A Memory for Faces and Words: Profile Recognition

Personal Account from Lindsay K. of  The Love Kudos Duo

Scientific American magazine in June 2008 reported that women have a better memory for faces and words.  I am living proof of  these findings, and have had multiple experiences of seeing someone around Austin and matching their face to their on-line profile.  On a few occasions, I have actually introduced myself to a fellow online dater who I have recognized. These are people that I had communicated with before, but for whatever reason we stopped correspondence prior to our first official meeting.  Most initiations were pleasant with a quick introduction and laugh.  However, the last time it happened to me, I was greatly disappointed.

Case Study #5: Over a month ago, this much younger guy instant messaged me and after slight hesitation, I accepted.  He was 25, which is a little bit of an age gap. We chatted for about 30 minutes and I asked to be  Facebook "friends" because his pictures were not clear.  (Lauren K. does not advise becoming FB friends with casual interests, because then they have access to all of your business, including the LOVE BLOG of course.) Coincidentally, we had one mutual friend who he used to work with and I even went on a date with.  I showed interest in seeing him, but he reported he wasn't ready to meet in person.  Was it something on my Facebook profile? I was a little confused as to why he was actively searching and engaging in talking with online potential mates if he wasn't "ready." He probably concluded that I wasn't a match for him and let me down easily by using that as an excuse.

Fast forward to a couple of months later. I bump into him at a group bowling event.  Unknowingly, he sat down at my bowling lane table to put his shoes on.  I remembered who he was and introduced myself.  I mentioned that we once chatted online and were Facebook friends. He awkwardly nodded his head a couples times and said, "Oh yeah!"  To my surprise, he immediately moved to another table and IGNORED ME! After a couple of hours, he finally came over to apologize for being rude and didn't know what came over him.

Rule #451:  
It is okay to introduce yourself  to someone you coincidentally meet in real life that you actually corresponded with previously.  

** There is a caveat. If you see your online dater buddy is on a date or with their parents, resist the urge. It is bad forum. You will meet again if it was meant to be.
In my experience with online dating, I think we sometimes forget that the other person is in fact another human being with thoughts and feelings, not just some online profile.  A profile only portrays your humanity to a point.  For example, a friend of mine was not interested in someone online and ignored all email attempts from a potential suitor.  However, when they accidentally met in person at a group function, she actually found him attractive and became interested in getting to know him more. His personality grabbed her attention and the scar on his chin that she obsessed over in his online photos did not seem to bother her anymore.

Blogged by Lindsay K. of the Love Kudos Duo - LKx2
Edited by Lauren K.

Image above from "I love Cartoons" website



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