Top 10 Commandments of Online Dating

Written by B. Katz of SingleEdition.com for JPeopleMeet.com
Graphics added by Lauren K. of  Love Kudos

Turning the Ten Commandments into a comedy routine. We apologize in advance if anyone is offended. Lauren says, "Remember to laugh and know that all rules are meant to be broken at times."


Let's face it. Internet dating can be like you're suddenly living in Sodom or Gomorrah - there are few rules to live by, good deeds to perform or books with lessons to teach us. To help you fulfill your obligations when there are essays to fill out, pictures to upload and Internet etiquette to remember, here is a helpful list of commandments to guide you:

Thou Shall Not Become a Slave to Rejection: Lead not a search of uncertainty or doubt and do not allow a few unnoticed pokes or a series of bad first dates let you fall victim, for it should not be a true reflection of your appearance, total income or the size and location of your dwelling.



picture from cartoonstock.com

Thou Must Find the Right Spot to Settle Down: Conscribe yourself to smaller, niche sites whose members share similar backgrounds, interests and beliefs as you. Bear witness, that if you do not match the criteria of the site you select, but have a fetish for those who do, you must come clean in your profile.



You Shall Not Overly Commit to Memberships: One online dating subscription announces that you are putting yourself out there; two to three signifies to others that you are actively searching. Anything more is a transgression.
You Shall Not Make Wrongful Use of Your Profile: The personal profile is sacred and should not be false or misleading. You shall abstain, all male(s) or female(s), from (a) disclosing your annual salary (b) posting body revealing personal body shots (c) bragging of perfection or (d) claiming you look just as good in sweatpants as you do in formal garb.

Thou Shall Honor and Respect Others: You shall not selfishly flirt or be misleading to others just because you have nothing better to do. Nor should you send lascivious email notes or instant messages at two in the morning, during office hours or when your cup has been filled with wine and spirits. And sin not by talking about other Internet dates whilst on an Internet date.

Observe the Seasons and Keep Them as Holy: Anticipate the guilt induced upon your brethren by their mothers during each of the high holidays including Passover or Easter, Chanukah or Christmas, and Mother's Day and commit to finding a soul mate during those high seasons for profiles will be fruitful and in abundance.

Search with Fear and Trepidation: Should you spend more than 2 hours a day on a particular dating site, click on a single person's profile more than seven times in an hour, or share 3 dates with someone(s) within a community, you are commanded to deactivate the setting which lets others know when, how often and what you do when you are online.

Thou Shall Not Seek Sex or Riches at Every Opportunity

You Shall Avoid Full Disclosure: Exchange not less than three e-mails or two conversations before setting a first date. Remember you shall be dealing with a stranger, so know not to talk through that morning's therapy points or reveal the details of your inheritance before the initial encounter, or even on those first few dates.

Thou Must Open Your Heart To Strangers: Contemplate your preference settings so that your expectations are realistic and judge those who seem less fortunate in wealth, weight, beauty, hair and height with equal fairness for they too may capture your affection.

By B. Katz of SingleEdition.com for JPeopleMeet.com

  

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