Thursday, April 1, 2010

Frustrations in Online Dating ... Ugh!

Written by Lauren K. and Lindsay K. of  Love Kudos is a free online dating site which offers a variety of matches based on your ideal qualities and your answers to their questions. If you answer publicly, you can compare your responses to a person you are interested in. 

Recently,  G.T. Jungle* winked at Lindsay K.  He is a 39 year old male.  The website said they were "60% Match 61% Friend 37% Enemy."  She took the initiative to send the first email after he winked at her, but somewhere down the line, she failed to return his email. He wasn't exactly shy about letting her know his frustrations!

 The correspondence began with an initial email from Lindsay. (Short and Sweet)

Mar. 9, 2010 
Hi G.T.
How are you?

Mar. 14, 2010
Good Lindsay.

How are you? Just got back from state tournament in El Paso.
It was lots of fun! 
What are you up to?

And now the frustration emerges:  
GT writes: Mar. 25, 2010 (11 days later)

"Let's analyze that.. yep, I see what I did wrong.

Staying on this site at all.  It doesn't really work, does it.. lol. That's why it's so f*&#ed up. I mean it should! But it doesn't... and I am certain the problem is what it does to woman's attitude. That's why other sites work and this one doesn't. It creates a strange entitlement/false selectivity issue in woman's minds.   Other sites are less obviously selective and that's why  they work."

Mar. 26, 2010
Lindsay responded, "I understand how frustrating online dating can be and you should be careful who you send these types of emails to.  Guys on these sites can pick and choose their women thinking that another one is just around the corner. So, I think both sexes experience an entitlement.  I don't feel I need to explain why I didn't contact you, so I won't. Thanks for the heads up."

And GT's final words: Mar. 28, 2010 

"lol the message doesn't scare me, but I appreciate the attempt. There was no asking for an explanation anywhere in there... but I am sorry about the reflection, I was just having a bad day and decided to be grouchy in the wrong venue. That's ridiculous, uncalled for, and on and on. Sorry about that and you're somewhat right about how guys probably typically aren't selective enough and that there's an implied entitlement in that too on men's side (we shouldn't generalize about all women or all men, though.. either one of us). So sorry I bugged out, you're a swell gal and best of luck to you : )"  
The Love Kudos recommendation for all online daters is, if you are starting to feel frustrated with all the rejection or lack of hotties winking at you or flirting with you, then take an online dating holiday.   Give yourself a week or a month off so you can restart open-minded, revitalized, and without all of the negativity associated with online dating. 

Here are Some Do and Don't Reminders for Online Dating from Love Kudos

  • Don't send a nasty message to that girl/guy that hasn't responded.  
  • Don't sign the end of your emails with "muuah, hugs and kisses, XO, or love"
  • Do send one follow-up email (Lauren K. recommends you wait at least 3-4 days, but no more than a few weeks to send the  "Did we lose touch?" email)  
  • Do ask Love Kudos for some professional guidance on your current online profile.  (Perhaps your pictures are unflattering, blurry, or super outdated, and that is why you received the blow off or luke warm email response.)
  • Do be wary of free online dating sites.  (Lindsay K. has started referring to this free site as okstupid.  Since there's no monetary backlash, any Joe Shmoe can sign up and start emailing. 
  • Do "google" your dates before you meet them and tell at least one friend where you are meeting before your date. (Just in case you end up missing for a day or two, it would be a good idea for someone to have a lead to follow.)
  • Do talk on the phone at least once before your first date.

*G.T. Jungle is a fictitious name.  We have changed the name to protect the innocently frustrated person.

*Images above from


1 comment:

Ali Catastrophe said...

I think I am going to take a break like suggested from okstupid.

I'm still gonna check out who's viewed me but not actively search or message unless something good comes along. I'm exhausted from all of it.

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