Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Happy St. Patti's day!

 Patti Stanger that is!

Written by Lindsay K. of the Love Kudos

According to Patti Stanger, a forty something year old Jewish matchmaker, a lot of successful long-term relationships stem from following a lot of the dating rules. Although she can be described as obnoxious and pushy on her Bravo TV show, "Millionaire Matchmaker," Love Kudos thinks she is the bomb.  LKx2 is not a stickler to following all of the dating rules, but we do feel Stanger has some strong points in her latest book, Become Your Own Matchmaker: 8 Easy Steps for Attracting Your Perfect Mate.

She says it like it is. "Calling makes the man, texting makes the boy, and email makes the phantom."  She also says that our mouths get us in a lot of trouble.  She discusses 12 topics that should be taken off the table when you are first getting to know someone.

  1. Money
  2. Sex
  3. Religion
  4. Politics
  5. Business
  6. Your ex
  7. Your children
  8. Health problems
  9. Your diet
  10. Celebrities (Come on)
  11. Your own adventures in dating
  12. Negative subjects that depress you
 I also believe you also shouldn't talk about your future together.  Stay in the present!  Meaning: don't talk about how you want marriage and kids, ASAP.  I would wait at least 5 dates before you start talking about your life goals.  A dating blogger, Mateo, recently said that he thinks the gay community has it figured out by using the term, Life Partner.  Men generally will have one foot right out the door when you mention the "M" word.  The double standard is that women would probably appreciate to hear a guy mention his hope for marriage one day.

Lindsay K's top ten mistakes men make during a date:

  1. Not asking enough questions
  2. Sharing too much, too soon
  3. Talking about his ex-girlfriends
  4. Not being clear about what he is looking for (ie: don’t send mixed messages)
  5. Putting his date in the position of feeling like she has to be “the man” (ie: she has to ask you out, take care of you)
  6. Apologizing for who he is (ie: if you like or dislike something – for example: sports, art, etc…own it 
  7. Poor hygiene (ie. nose hairs, greasy hair)
  8. Not picking up the tab. (First Date etiquette)
  9. Acting uninterested (ie; looking at a phone, watch, or people watching)
  10. Not calling if they are gonna be late
 Kudos to Patti Stanger on her engagement and impending marriage to Andy Friedman. 
We wish her the best of luck in love.

Edited by Lauren K. of Love Kudos (HAPPY MARCH MADNESS! GO STATE!)

We wish you a pinch of love


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    images from flickr.com and nationalpost.com.


    Thad said...

    I have to say, in the 12 topics not to discuss: 3, 5, 7, 10, and 9 to some extent would seem reasonable to discuss.
    #3- For several of us, religion is important. My wife is a conservative Christian, it's a central part of her life, on the other hand I'm a Buddhist and raised Catholic. It's part of who we are, and if you find it an uncomfortable conversation, then you know that it will only get worse later if the relationship were to go on (this is of course if it is important to you).
    #5-How do you avoid that? Most of us work and it's a natural part of talking about work.
    #7-If the other person has kids (or if you have kids), that is most of your life. Not talking about it means 1 thing: that they aren't important to you. And if that's the case, RUN! That person is only concerned with themselves, and it will manifest itself in the relationship in a bad way.
    #10- Ok, it's just a filler.
    #9- Maybe not details on what you eat daily, but a discussion on food can be so much fun, especially if you cook. :)

    As for the mistakes men make:
    1-Sometimes we don't need to. I was always one to look at the small cues, like shoes, jewelry, car which can tell a lot about what kind of woman she is, and what factors will be important. If we're not asking questions, that means we may already know the answer.
    8-We could argue all day, though at the very least, the man should offer, but it should never be discussed.
    I won't argue with the other points, as they're fine.

    Kevin Blanchard said...

    I know the 2 main author are women so they may not be the best to add but I find much of the content is driven towards "mistakes men make" or dating for women. I feel the articles have a better balance including list for both men and women. Bonus points if it includes side notes for rules that may or may not apply for modern women/men versus old fashioned men/women.

    Some of these rules do sound a bit old fashioned. In some cases the advice can hurt women. I know I'm not alone in this, but for me, I ALWAYS choose the women who would as a guy out. Not only do I love and appreciate assertiveness in a woman but it shows she's more modern and progressive, qualities at least I look for in a woman. I don't want to date a woman looking for a 1950s era guy, I want to date a woman looking for a 2010 era guy. So for me, the girl too shy to ask me out is going to miss out on possibly an enjoyable date.

    Again as we've discussed before, whether the person is old fashioned and conforms to more traditional gender roles or dating habits or whether they are more modern in their approach both are fine. It's just about the two people matching in beliefs, just like anything else. :-) Though I wonder if that would be another thing to add to the "do not talk about" list for the first few dates,lol.

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