Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Assumption of the Risk (of Love)

Written by Lauren K. of Love Kudos

Jdate blogger, PuraVida, says," Dating is like on the back of a White Sox game ticket, fans assume the inherent risk that they may just get smashed by a flying ball. As with relationships, statistics reflect most don’t work except the 'one', so when engaging, do you tread lightly or dive in, be vulnerable and accept the risk you may get smashed?" YES!

I have always been a believer that once you are relatively over the last relationship, spent the appropriate time mourning that relationship (whatever that may be), you should jump into dating head first and prepare yourself for the possibility of love.
It is Love Kudos motto to "Embrace love like you have never been hurt before". So, although we all have baggage, the hope is that eventually we can dump that luggage to make room for our new, more improved package. However, when one is guarded about love, can one truly allow themselves to see what is great right in front of them? Probably not.

Being completely vulnerable with your heart is both a scary and truly euphoric feeling. I have said after being hurt in the past that as soon as I recognize someone is not all that into me, I will check out of that relationship because I can not handle true heartbreak again. However, I do now think that love comes in all shapes, sizes, and times. Therefore, the instinct to run at the first sign of hesitation from your partner is cowardly. If you question that you can not satisfy all of your partner's needs, that is ok, but at least give them the benefit of the doubt. Love can grow if there in an innate compatibility in the following core areas: money, sex (physical intimacy), religion, and family values.

Below is a poem about the risk of love.

Risk of Love by Kris Hydmore

There is a risk involved in everything

Every time you share a smile
Every time you shed a tear
You are opening yourself up to hurt.
Some people tread slowly through life,
Avoiding the closeness risk brings,
Sidestepping the things they can not understand
Turning away from those who care too much-
Those who care stay too long,
Those who hold too tightly.
There is never an easy way to love
You cannot approach it cautiously
It will not wait for you to arm yourself.
It does not care if you turn away
It is everywhere, it is everything.
Love is the greatest of all risks.

It is not reliable, it is not cautious,
It is not sympathetic
It is unprejudiced and unmerciful.
It strikes the strongest of mind,
And brings them to their knees in one blow.

Even in the best of times, love hurts.
It hurts to need, it hurts to belong,
It hurts to be the other part of someone else,
Without either of your consent.

But, from the moment it overtakes you,
It hurts worse to be all alone.
The risk of love never depletes;

It grows stronger and more dangerous with time.
But, it is in the total surrender of all defense,

That we, no matter weak or strong,
No matter willing or captive,

No matter what, we truly experience love.
Despite the many things love is not,
Outweighing it all are the things that love is.

Love is surrender without a loss.
It is a gift without the cost.
It consumes your every thought and desire,

Every breath you take.
It is the fire that fuels you
To do more than pass through life;
It urges you, instead, to live.
No matter the outcome, having felt love,
You will never be the same.
It may scar your heart and soul
And leave you only memories of forever.

Or, it may cause every day of your life
To feel like there is no need for tomorrow.
But, love is worth it. It is worth the risk...
For in all of life,
Love is truly the only risk worth taking.

Final thoughts: Do not push away the possibility of love, because you are afraid of getting hurt down the line. With dating, there is always the chance that one will want to exit the relationship before you are ready to say goodbye, but why curtail the possibility of falling in love, because of pure fear?

Gamble on love. You might just get blackjack!

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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I think for me, my fear is not so much getting hurt, as the other person getting hurt and blaming it on me.

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