Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Make Your Own Speed Dating Night

Written by Lindsay K. and Lauren K. of Love Kudos

A reader of Love Kudos recently asked me a question about the first date protocol.  Victoria*,  a professional with an active social life, didn't want to waste her time on a first date when there was no immediate connection.  She would prefer to excuse herself after 15 minutes, instead of talking for an hour or so after clearly knowing there was no interest and/or attraction to the other person. However, Victoria didn't know the best way to go about it without hurting the other persons feelings or coming off as a rude. 

My advice was to be up front and tell the other person that the pre-date would only be 15 minutes, unless they both wanted it to continue on. I suggested to put it out there during email correspondence, so there's a set expectation before the actual date. Your online profile could be another way to express this idea.

Agreeable, research has shown that it only takes a few minutes to decide if there is some sort of attraction.  The speed dating concept was formulated after this idea.  According to Wiki, "Its origins are credited to Rabbi Yaacov Deyo of Aish HaTorah, originally as a way to help Jewish singles meet and marry. 'SpeedDating', as one word, is a registered trademark of Aish HaTorah."

 Business are popping up everywhere.  The list could go on and on.  Here's a few:
8minutedating.com, pre-dating.com, nyminutedating.com, chicagofirstdates.com, onspeeddating.com speeddateaustin.com, speeddate.com, dateanddash.com, and hurrydate.com.)

Or the famous, Date-A-Poolza, as seen in 40 Year Old Virgin

(*name was been changed.)

Lauren K. says that the speed dating concept favors people that are good on paper, are confident, and good looking from the waist up. If someone is just starting a business and happens to live at home with their parents, it is going to take more than 15 minutes to explain their situation and look good to the other person.  I do like the concept of a pre-date though as Victoria is trying to create. You meet and then mutually decide if you really want to spend more time together on a date. This way you can schedule two pre-dates in an hour and have some time in between to check your cell phone and jot some notes down. I have been guilty of scheduling two dates in a night. The key is to make sure you remember the details of both dates. If you mix up your men or women, you will look flaky, slutty, or like a major player.

If you have a comment on the new Pre-Date concept, write in to the blog or email us.


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