tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2632048444013848217.post8255280653661918299..comments2022-12-02T21:28:02.698-06:00Comments on Love Kudos: Case Study #2: Dinner for Sex ? I don't think soUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2632048444013848217.post-7613807630077853752011-01-17T18:14:01.904-06:002011-01-17T18:14:01.904-06:00First of all, that guy sounds like a total tool bo...First of all, that guy sounds like a total tool box so I think you made the right call. <br /><br />However, your expectation that a guy pays on the first date is downright frustrating. Why is the burden on a man to provide the means for a first date? As a man, I think its super classy for a girl to offer to pay, I wouldn't let them mind you but the offer means they don't just see you as a meal ticket...Not a good way IMHO to start a true partnership which is what I am looking for. <br /><br />I have a strict "never buy a girl a drink" rule. This has lead to some awkward moments where I am hanging out and a girl approaches and starts a conversation that ultimately ends with, "so are you going to buy me a drink?" I know so many woman who just go out and assume guys will buy them drinks or dinner because there is this expectation that blogs like yours put out there as acceptable behavior.<br /><br />If you like a guy, trust me, you offering to buy him a beer will go miles more than not talking about your pets.<br /><br />Just my two cents. Great job on the site.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2632048444013848217.post-83366106822435936432009-11-12T20:03:25.136-06:002009-11-12T20:03:25.136-06:00I know I'm late in replying to this but though...I know I'm late in replying to this but thought I'd give my 2 cents to the post. :-)<br />It's hard to say. You two got off to a rocky start but I like the idea of stepping back to a casual date first. You don't know him well enough to know if his joke was just a joke or if he was testing the water to see if you are "that kind of girl". I'm usually a big fan of giving the other person the benifit of the doubt at least for a few dates until you get a feel of their personality. We have ALL had that moment early in dating where we make a joke or comment then all of a sudden the other person doesn't take it like you expected and you have that moment of "OMG they totally are going to think I'm a...". Sometimes it isn't a big deal and other times the person takes it poorly and you never have another date. Keep in mind while you may have negative feelings toward the situation from miscommunication he probably is in the same boat. He didn't offer to pay dutch until AFTER you canceled the cooking date. Prior to you canceling he was more than happy to pay $140 for you two to have the cooking date. You can't blame him for being a little gun shy about dinner after the cooking lessons. It's not your fault for being sick and having to cancel but try putting yourself in the other person's shoes. It's CRITICAL in the early stages of dating. You know you were sick but he doesnt. For all he knows you canceeled on him becuase you had a date with someone else that night. It wouldn't be the first time someone made an excuse to get out of a date. People do it all the time. He doesn't know you were really sick any more then you know if he was joking about wanting sex. He's not a mind reader and you two don't know each other well enough to have that level of trust that you can just take each other's word. He could still be a jerk but I see no reason to get frustrated with him yet or to judge him so early with so little information. Again, put yourself in his shoes. You wouldn't want him judeging you or drawing conclutions about your character for canceling your first and very expensive first date. <br /><br />I say go on a casual date and get to know each other. It sounds like you two are sufforing from miscommunication and a lot of assumptions. These are probably giving him the wrong idea (though I only know the story from your side) but obviously it has caused you to not be as interested in him, and be annoyed at his actions and you may be giving up on a guy who's worth it. Heck, he was willing to drop $140 on a first date, that means he either likes to throw money around or was willing to take a shot on girl he thought might be a good match. I say try the casual date and try to get to know each other.Kevin Blanchardhttp://www.kevinblanchard.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2632048444013848217.post-59123807253750344262009-11-06T09:27:55.202-06:002009-11-06T09:27:55.202-06:00Sounds like a douche bag. Guy should always pay on...Sounds like a douche bag. Guy should always pay on the first date--that should be a red flag right there.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2632048444013848217.post-4743829542817612542009-10-29T22:43:23.062-05:002009-10-29T22:43:23.062-05:00i say "when in doubt, do without!" you ...i say "when in doubt, do without!" you are having some feelings of apprehension, so listen to that. he sounds like he wasn't raised well....Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2632048444013848217.post-63586060811093798422009-10-29T08:38:45.041-05:002009-10-29T08:38:45.041-05:00I think you should go on a casual first date. Mayb...I think you should go on a casual first date. Maybe he's just a little awkward. Hugh Grant is always awkward in all those romantic comedies yet he always winds up being the perfect mate! If you go on a casual lunch or something all you've given up is a lunch hour you probably would have just spent at Thundercloud wondering if you should give this guy a chanceAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com