Facebook Break-up: Alice and Timmy

LOVE KUDOS can help you with all your Facebook questions,

dating questions, and proper etiquette.

Do you have good Facebook manners? Timmy and Alice don't. Watch their bad behavior to learn the dos and don'ts of Facebook breakups.

 Just for fun!

 Enjoy from the Love Kudos Duo - LKx2 
video provided by www.yourtango.com 

Facebook Relationship Status Blogs

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Facebook Relationship Status ... What does it mean to you?

By Lauren K. of the Love Kudos Duo LKx2

Lauren K. is now single. ... As this announcement makes your way across your FB news feed, what comes to mind for you? Facebook's relationship status label can bring some angst for newly joined couples, recent singles, and divorcees new to the dating market. I hypothesize that is why Facebook came up with the option of, "it's complicated." However, I always wonder how messed up that person's relationship is when they choose, "It's complicated." (Are they separated, in an on and off relationship, in some sort of threesome, or some other type of arrangement I have not even conjured up?) Out of all of the relationship status options, I would steer clear of that one.

There are six relationship categories Facebook users can choose from: single, in a relationship, engaged, married, it's complicated, and in an open relationship. It is interesting to note that users can decline to list a status, but Facebook estimates that roughly 60% of its users opt-in, with "single" and "married" the most common statuses. The first four categories are pretty self-explanatory, but when should you use them? A Jane Austen of Facebook has yet to emerge, let alone a Miss Manners, and no one seems to have a grip on what the social norms ought to be.(Time.com) However, I am going to give you The Love Kudos recommendation guide, or rather, a collective group of opinions on the subject. Ultimately, you need to decide if you would like to declare your relationship status or hide it from your Facebook network.

      Image created by Lauren K. ; Statistics from Facebook.com

I polled a few select members in my Facebook network with the following questions, "When do think it is ok to change your status on Facebook from "single" to "in a relationship" status? Looking at the converse situation, how soon after a break up can u post u r now "single" again? Is there a relationship mourning period?" Of course, I will share my personal opinion at the end of this blog.  

A college student in a committed relationship said, "I think when two people are in an exclusive relationship it is either appropriate to hide the status completely or to change the status to 'in a relationship.' " The point here is that you are acknowledging you are no longer on the market. If one person in the relationship does not want to change the status and the other does, this may indicate that these two people are not in mutual agreement about the definition of their relationship. Facebook relationship statuses may seem silly or unimportant, but if it is a big deal to one person, the other partner should respect that. There is a pride factor and you should be proud of who you are with. Also, if you are dating a lot and want to avoid a complicated situation, hiding the status is completely appropriate. If anyone wants to know if you are available for dating, they can ask you. Another positive benefit to changing your status to "in a relationship" is it can help void off unwanted fb stalkers and random old men or crazy cougars.

A guy friend of mine, Brian felt that the label is just an extension of what has already been done for decades. "In the past, people would label their relationships too, but now with Facebook, its not only putting a label on the relationship but also letting the "world" know about it.

Emily Starbuck Gerson, a fellow Austin blogger, feels that as soon as exclusivity is acknowledged and you are officially boyfriend/girlfriend, it's OK to put it on Facebook. But not everyone likes those things to be public -- I know a few couples where they have no relationship status on Facebook, or they have "in a relationship," but it is not attached to a particular person's name. Since some people are touchy about it, I would ask the guy if he was OK with having it on Facebook before I tried to add him on there in my relationship status.

What Emily touches on above, when you connect your relationship status to someone else's, is one reason I am hesitant about the "in the relationship" status. Relationship status is the only declaration on Facebook that directly can involve another person. That puts two people in the social-networking mirror, and that, to borrow a Facebook phrase, can make things complicated. (Time.com) I don't believe there is an acceptance option for it either. Someone can hack into your account and put you are in a relationship with another Facebook User in your list of friends. Scary, huh?

Emily also commented on the ADD user that changes their status often. "I am perplexed when I see people change their status from 'in a relationship' to 'single' many times over in a short period. I'm not sure if they are dating one person with whom they keep breaking up and getting back together with, or if they start dating a guy and put 'in a relationship' up too soon into dating someone. I think if you change your status really often it can make you look bad; in that case, I would just remove the relationship status from the profile. If you're like most people, you have a lot of friends and acquaintances on there -- remember that every time you update it, everyone can see it! (There is a way to change that) People will wonder what kind of craziness is going on.

Regarding the option to remove your status all together, I am a proponent of this option if you are newly single, dating a lot, or use Facebook mostly for business reasons and therefore, want to keep your private life underwraps. On a comic note, here is one blogger's Pros and Cons list on the NO STATUS option, written by Anna G. Caliburg.

Pro #1: Perhaps not answering this question, could ease some unwanted attention from randoms in your network.
Pro #2: It simply refuses to acknowledge the nosy questioning of the Facebook profile form. Fight the power!
Con #1: Once the elimination of this category is on the newsfeed, you’ll get the standard “what happened?” comments. And because it’s by its very nature secretive-seeming, sometimes people feel like they’re more allowed to cross the line in terms of potential sensitivity/appropriateness. Yes, basically, you can’t win if you put too much info or none at all.
Con #2: Jumping off the previous Con, this is also one of the leading most passive aggressive ways to get attention from your friends! Everyone loses!
Con #3: What are you trying to hide, sketchball?

BREAK-UPS ... Click below
Read More >

What are your thoughts on the Facebook relationship status? We want to hear from you.Comments are welcome.  

Blogged by: Lauren K. of the Love Kudos Duo LKx2

Remember to nominate people for  the Love Kudos Makeover. The deadline, December 15th, is fast approaching.  Don't miss out. All men and women ages 21 and older are eligible.

If you would like to purchase any of our service options, such as a photo session or profile update, please see our payment options on the side bar of our blog. Fees are listed.
Share the LOVE this holiday season and purchase a profile update for a family member or friend that may just need a little love coaching. Give the gift of "LOVE."

 

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Some of the information gathered came from Time.com, May 8, 2009 and Facebook Statistics.

Facebook Relationship Status: Part 2

Break Up .... How to deal with it on Facebook

So, you have broken up with someone that you have dated for lets say 3-6 months and are ready to get back out there. How soon after a break up can you change your Facebook status to "single"? I have seen a guy do it 20 minutes after the break up was final, as well as one woman keep the "in the relationship" status up weeks after the exchanging of belongings had already taken place. Is there a morally correct, black and white answer to the break up announcement on Facebook? Probably not, but here are some suggested guidelines to follow.

K.S. believes the decision to declare your "singleness" should be a mutual one. "It can be hurtful to see your once beloved partner immediately take off the status after 'the talk'. But may be a good way to solidify your decision. This might be a good case to hide the status. There definitely is a relationship mourning period. It is important to let yourself go through that, regroup, and mend your emotions. It may be appropriate to talk to your ex and decide it will be better to "de-friend" each other. (Refer to Lauren K's advice on staying friends with your Ex on Facebook). Some people decide that that this helps avoid jealously, hurt feelings, and the desire to 'check up' on their ex . Communication is vital in all of these scenarios and in relationships in general. When feelings are made known and two people share their expectations things should go more smoothly. Lack of communication and fear of talking to your partner indicates rocky roads ahead."

To create some controversy, another guy friend of mine, Dan, asked in jest, "Isn't hiding your relationship from your Facebook friends like a married guy not wearing his wedding ring in public?" Clearly, a married guy not wearing his wedding ring is a major diss to that person's relationship and is a much greater infraction than a man not declaring that he is in a relationship on a social website. On a side note, sometimes men and women can forget their wedding rings and there is no malintent behind their actions. Eight days after Ivanka Trump got married, she forgot her ring for her first public appearance on The View.  She commented, "I knew you'd call me on that! It's sitting on my bedside table. I've only been married for eight days and keep forgetting about the hardware. I did feel a little naked and was thinking about running home and getting it."

Back to the issue at hand. Facebook relationship status .... I think I would be hurt if I was living with someone and they did not declare I was their girlfriend on Facebook. When I was engaged, I was relatively new to FB and after a week, changed my status to "engaged." I got oodles of "Congratulations" and felt the Facebook LOVE.

Well, it was a bit of a shock to my acquaintances when I went from "engaged" to "single" three months later. I do not regret declaring my "engaged" status, but in retrospect, I wish that I had not changed my status to "single" the day after my break up. At the time, my Ex was not a FB user and therefore was not privey to my dramatic status change. I think during the relationship mourning period, NO STATUS, is the answer. I think the length of the mourning period can completely depend on the serious nature of the relationship. I was a bit rash in my move to go from "engaged" to "single" and I did not consult my Ex on this decision. I did let him know after I did it a few days later that I had declared my "singleness" to my group of friends, including my Facebook network. "When it's done, it's done," is how some of my friends view break ups and there is no reason to hide it.

 Lindsay K.'s advice is to make sure you are REALLY ready to update your status for all your Facebook "friends" to see. For example, when she ended her almost 3 year relationship with her live-in boyfriend, out of emotional heartbreak and grief, she updated her profile to "single" immediately. The sleuths of comments and emails came in and she had to explain what had happened. It was somewhat embarrassing, because although the relationship had ended, she was still living with him at the time. Now, that is definitely "complicated."  To avoid the difficulties of explaining your relationship status, make sure when you do change it, you are ready to explain!

What are your thoughts on the Facebook relationship status? We want to hear from you.Comments are welcome.  

Blogged by: Lauren K. of the Love Kudos Duo LKx2

Remember to nominate people for  the Love Kudos Makeover. The deadline, December 15th, is fast approaching.  Don't miss out. All men and women ages 21 and older are eligible.

If you would like to purchase any of our service options, such as a photo session or profile update, please see our payment options on the right side of the blog. Fees are listed.
Share the LOVE this holiday season and purchase a profile update for a family member or friend that may just need a little love coaching. Give the gift of "LOVE."

 

Subscribe to Love Online Help ... Update Profiles and More by Email

or

mailto:lovekudos@gmail.com

Some of the information gathered came from Time.com, May 8, 2009 and Facebook Statistics.

Don't Go There! Show - A Pilot on Break Ups and New Beginnings

Don't Go There!

For all of you women who have ever been hurt by a man and didn't know how to get back on your feet:
Check out this pilot. It was created by my childhood good friend, Sarah Guzick, and her acting partner.

Don't Go There Show Pilot

Contact Info:
(310) 254-7555
sarah@dontgothereshow.com
christine@dontgothereshow.com

Show Info:

Don't Go There was created, improvised, produced, written, and acted by Sarah Guzick and Christine Huddle who originally met in an improv class at the Second City Chicago. They organized a talented team and shot the pilot in Texas. The show will follow the 30 year old fraternal twin sisters from Texas as they navigate the labyrinth of dating, friendship, and career in their brand new life in Los Angeles.

Characters:

Leah Mable is a free spirited, emotional, dreamer. She has to contend with her ex, dating and what to do with her life. She goes to graduate school for psychology in an attempt to heal her broken heart and gain greater insight. She goes on a horrible date almost every episode.
Kit Mable is bold, eccentric and non conformist. While Leah is more invested in finding true love, Kit is more preoccupied with her schemes and dreams for how to make a living in Los Angeles.
Other characters include cousin/filmmaker Medea, close friend Siobhan, Leah's ex Todd, and our parents in Texas.

Creator/Producers:

Born and raised in Houston, Texas, Sarah Guzick graduated from Columbia College Chicago, the Second City Conservatory, and Improv Olympic. She went on to complete the Second City Directing Program and taught at the Second City Training Center. She finally broke up with Chicago's freezing winter and is happily in a loving relationship with sunny Los Angeles.
After graduating from Cornell University, Christine Huddle migrated westward very slowly. Along the way she studied at and graduated from The Second City, Improv Olympic and the Annoyance Theatre. She is currently crawling her way through the Groundlings.

Posted by: Lauren Kahn on behalf of the "Don't Go There" show.

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Princess From NY Finally Met Her Prince

Submitted by a guest blogger exclusively for "Love Kudos"

It was June 2008. Jdate was starting to become monotonous and with the summer coming up, I couldn't imagine going out with anymore J-Duds. I was looking forward to less forced dates and imagined bright days filled with spontaneous, random meetings and booze filled, lustful encounters. But it was a Sunday night, and as I went online to check an email (turned out to be from a redheaded paper salesman), I received an IM from a BB2201. His picture was cute enough and I saw that he was neither a J.A.P. from Long Island, nor a 55 year old dentist looking for his third trophy wife. Score! He had a great smile and his profile made me laugh -- in a good way, not like the usual manic cries that came with me perusing a profile. We exchanged a few hellos and a few more in the next day or so. Feeling confident that he was not a serial killer, we set up a time to meet for drinks. Around the corner from my apartment, of course. Convenient, huh?

When the night of our date came around, I wasn't feeling especially in the mood to go out. I wasn't really feeling up to be all first-datish and vibrant. You know, when you go through the introductions and then each of you shares your  life history/work/hobbies/family. However, our date was for 8pm and since it was already 7:36, I thought it would be rude to bail. Before I headed out, I realized I couldn't remember what this guy looked like. I knew he was cute, but I couldn't find his profile anywhere. Scrolling through my emails and my IMs, there seemed to be no sign of Mr. Date #733 (or so it seemed). Frustrated, I tore through the profiles, yelling at my roommate that I would rather be alone than trust my romantic future in the hands of the world wide web. And then I found his profile. Ew. He had changed his profile pic which was why I couldn't uncover it. The problem was that his new pic made him look like he was 55, not 32 like he listed on his profile. He had on a green striped hat and a goofy grin that did nothing to help this situation. Geez Louise. His other photos still looked pretty good, but I thought, this is always the trick, isn't it?  Urgh. I yelled again out loud how I was canceling my subscription. One last online date. I was still resigned to go meet this character. My mom always told me to "be nice." On the way there, I cursed my luck, wondering how I was still single at my age and how I would ever meet anyone in this town.

I walked into the bar with my head down, and when I looked up, I saw a guy staring at me. Immediately I realized that he was the guy from the other 3 pictures and cuter. Much cuter. Nice. Relieved, I said hello, smiled, blushed, and then we exchanged one of those awkward first date second looks. We sat down, ordered two martinis, and starting talking. One drink turned into two and the night went by pretty quickly. I learned that he was super close to his family, graduated from Michigan (where I almost went), and seemed to have a real sweet streak. We had a lot of similar interests, laughed at the same time and seemed to hit it off. He walked me home and as I was just about to turn to go inside, he went in for the kiss :)

We continued to date -- on and off -- throughout that summer and really made it official when I took him as my date to my sister's wedding. We haven't been apart since.

Bryan and I got engaged on April 10th 2009 and we look forward to our wedding next April 20th 2010. JDate seemed liked like such an unlikely way to find my match, but despite having to go out with a few more frogs than I would have liked, it was worth it to meet my Prince :)

Edited by Lauren K. of the Love Kudos Duo - LKx2

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL OF OUR READERS. GOBBLE, GOBBLE! 

Image above from "I love Cartoons" website

 

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A Memory for Faces and Words: Profile Recognition

Personal Account from Lindsay K. of  The Love Kudos Duo

Scientific American magazine in June 2008 reported that women have a better memory for faces and words.  I am living proof of  these findings, and have had multiple experiences of seeing someone around Austin and matching their face to their on-line profile.  On a few occasions, I have actually introduced myself to a fellow online dater who I have recognized. These are people that I had communicated with before, but for whatever reason we stopped correspondence prior to our first official meeting.  Most initiations were pleasant with a quick introduction and laugh.  However, the last time it happened to me, I was greatly disappointed.

Case Study #5: Over a month ago, this much younger guy instant messaged me and after slight hesitation, I accepted.  He was 25, which is a little bit of an age gap. We chatted for about 30 minutes and I asked to be  Facebook "friends" because his pictures were not clear.  (Lauren K. does not advise becoming FB friends with casual interests, because then they have access to all of your business, including the LOVE BLOG of course.) Coincidentally, we had one mutual friend who he used to work with and I even went on a date with.  I showed interest in seeing him, but he reported he wasn't ready to meet in person.  Was it something on my Facebook profile? I was a little confused as to why he was actively searching and engaging in talking with online potential mates if he wasn't "ready." He probably concluded that I wasn't a match for him and let me down easily by using that as an excuse.

Fast forward to a couple of months later. I bump into him at a group bowling event.  Unknowingly, he sat down at my bowling lane table to put his shoes on.  I remembered who he was and introduced myself.  I mentioned that we once chatted online and were Facebook friends. He awkwardly nodded his head a couples times and said, "Oh yeah!"  To my surprise, he immediately moved to another table and IGNORED ME! After a couple of hours, he finally came over to apologize for being rude and didn't know what came over him.

 
Rule #451:  
It is okay to introduce yourself  to someone you coincidentally meet in real life that you actually corresponded with previously.  

** There is a caveat. If you see your online dater buddy is on a date or with their parents, resist the urge. It is bad forum. You will meet again if it was meant to be.
 
In my experience with online dating, I think we sometimes forget that the other person is in fact another human being with thoughts and feelings, not just some online profile.  A profile only portrays your humanity to a point.  For example, a friend of mine was not interested in someone online and ignored all email attempts from a potential suitor.  However, when they accidentally met in person at a group function, she actually found him attractive and became interested in getting to know him more. His personality grabbed her attention and the scar on his chin that she obsessed over in his online photos did not seem to bother her anymore.

Blogged by Lindsay K. of the Love Kudos Duo - LKx2
Edited by Lauren K.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL OF OUR READERS. GOBBLE, GOBBLE! 

Image above from "I love Cartoons" website

 

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A Male's Response to The Love Kudos' Austin First Date Recommendation List

We would like to preface the below blog, "A Male's Response to The Love Kudos' Austin First Date Recommendation List" with a couple of thoughts. A great first date can literally happen anywhere if the "chemistry" is strong enough and both people have good intentions. Also, you can have the perfect date lined up and things can go seriously wrong. 

Case Study #4: In college, Lauren K. was on an official first date  at the Leopard Lounge when a minor disaster occurs. Lauren's date, Byron had shown interest in her for awhile, but had never had the "cojones" to ask her out. Finally he gets up the nerve to ask her out for a Saturday night date. Unfortunately, Lauren has a cocktail party to attend for her roomie's boyfriend that night. What to do? 

She decides to ask him to attend the party with her, then go to Leopard Lounge for drinks and maybe some making out afterwards. As an independent woman and aware that Byron was carless, Lauren decides to drive that night. (In retrospect, maybe that was not such a good decision.) This was Valentine's Day weekend, but not February 14th. Lauren wears a deep red long dress and even straightens her hair for the big date. She is ready to rock the night.

At the party, there is some minor hand holding, mutual affection displayed, and compliments thrown in both directions. The roomie approves and endorses Lauren's feeling that Byron is clearly interested. At Leopard Lounge, they can't find the parking attendant to pay for parking. After a few minutes spent looking around, they give up and go into the bar, ignoring the potential consequences. 

At Leopard Lounge, after a couple of  Jack Daniels and Cokes, they kiss a couple of times, but Byron expresses he is not into PDA. Lauren obliges and hopes more kisses will come later. 

Hand in hand, they leave the bar near closing time and return to the car. Well, to where they left the car at least. Lauren starts to panic and Byron begins to walk around the parking lot in search of the attendant. He finds Lauren's car on top of a tow truck a block away. Byron tries to bargain with the owner of the tow truck and explains that they wanted to pay for parking, but couldn't find anyone to pay. The tow truck guy, Bruce, shows no mercy for their situation. He tells Byron he will release the vehicle if he gets $180.00 in cash in the next 10 minutes. Lauren is standing besides Byron with tears streaming down her face. Her glow is gone and is now trying to remember if she has enough money in her bank account to cover this unnecessary towing fee. It wasn't until she reaches the ATM, that Byron chimes up that he will pay for a part of the towing cost. He volunteers a measly $50.00, leaving Lauren with the majority of the financial burden. Yes, it was Lauren's car, but they made a joint decision to go to the bar without paying for parking. 

On the way home, Byron tries to rekindle the romantic mood, but Lauren is no longer open to his advances. Her mind is occupied with how she is going to explain this extra cost to her dad. Remember, she is still just a college girl without a substantial income to dip into. Byron does feel bad about the situation, but isn't the most expressive guy. Finally, at 2AM Lauren drops off him off, without a good night kiss. He never calls to follow up after the date either. They never go out again, but do remain friends later on. 

Perhaps, if their connection was stronger, they could have moved past the car towing mishap. These unfortunate circumstances revealed that Byron was not really a partner and just wanted a fun time. What do you think, should Byron have paid 1/2 of the towing fee ?

___________________________________________________________
 A male's response to The Love Kudos' Austin First Date Recommendation List with commentary from Lauren K. and Lindsay K. *

JBlacks - Horrible choice
There is no reason to go to JBlacks. Ever. ESPECIALLY on a first date in Austin, unless you want to run into someone who the girl possibly used to "...". This city is so small and incestuous that if you go to a hot spot, you are bound to run into one or two people who have at least dated one of you. The bar is loud and overpacked, so there isn't really a way to find an area to talk. How can you get to know each other there? Plus, there isn't anywhere else to really take the date after some drinks...unless it is to get some shots at Key Bar or Molotov, or go home and have sex. (Refer to LK's list why J.Blacks rocks for a first date place.)
(If you do run into someone you used to date, hopefully you ended the relationship in a mature manner and both of you have moved on to better things.)

Cru- Great Choice. I think Cru is an excellent place to have a bottle of wine and get to know each other. I have taken many dates to Cru, their service and food is great, and you really can talk and relax.

219 West - Good Food, Good Happy Hour, Bad Date Place. Again, why would you want your first date in a crowded bar where you can't talk. This is a great place to take a girl if your intentions are to get her as drunk as possible, then walk her back to your place if you live downtown. (LKxs just went there the other night.  It was early enough that it wasn't crowded and a jazz band was playing.)

Hike Mt. Bonnell - Bad idea for a 1st date, Great 3rd date place... if you aren't planning on having 3rd date sex, but just remember lots of guys have a 3 date rule... (Lauren K. would like to know more about this rule. 1/3 of women have sex with men by the 3rd date according to Glamour Magazine.)

Uncorked - Another great choice... See my comments on Cru

South Congress Cafe - Average selection. Long lines and the tables are very spaced out making it hard to talk, but I guess if you wanted to be a generic douche and take her somewhere trendy for a first date it's an acceptable choice. (Anyone want to defend South Congress Cafe here? Remember, they have excellent Bloody Marys.)

Third Base - I don't think there is enough room in the comment section for me to express what a horrible selection of a first date Third Base is. Not only are you showing the girl you are more interested in sports bars then her right off the bat, you are taking her into a meat market of apathy. I'm sure on dates where there is nothing better to do than watch the game, this sounds like a good idea, but how do you really get to know each other? You may as well take her to the movies, at least she will be entertained. (Lauren K. says, "I know it is not a traditional first date spot, but I did meet someone from Jdate that I dated for nearly two years at a sports bar. The game was not the main focus, but it gave us something to focus on besides the normal chit chat. I actually know plenty of friends that have gone on first dates at other sports bars in Austin ie; Key Bar, Cover 3, and Third Base in Round Rock.")

Gueros - Decent choice. Just make sure you get reservations, and we all know girls are never on time.

Halcyon - Another decent choice. Not really my scene because of all the hippies that hang out there all night smoking and what not, but a good place for some artsy hipster people to grab some drinks and talk.

Flying Saucer - Are you kidding me? Is the goal to get this girl to assume you are still stuck in your frat boy days? I have been to flying saucer. Its loud, crowded, and full of college kids getting drunk for the first time off mommy and daddies money. This is a date spot that would work if you are dating a sorority girl...but if that's the case just take her somewhere she can do shots. (Lauren K. says, "Obviously he has never been to Tuesday night trivia at the Saucer or cozied up on a couch in the back room.") 

In case you need to recheck LK's list on Austin First Date Ideas, click here. 


Date Spots you missed:
Trudys (excluding the one near campus) - you can eat...talk...and drink Mexican Martinis (We had to pick just 1 Mexican restaurant, so we went with our favorite.)

Imperia - $5 Martinis during happy hour. Classy, quiet, centrally located. (Didn't make the Love Kudos top 10, but a worthy suggestion.)

East Side Showroom - Chill, great scene, new part of town, not many people know about it. Whats not to like. (Lauren K. fully endorses this eclectic spot on the Eastside. She even went there on opening night with some friends.)

Canary Hut - Hole in the wall bar with karaoke and really cheap drinks. Perfect for after dinner. (Lindsay K. has been there once and will never return.  Unacceptable bathrooms and trashy people. It is located off of Burnet Road, near Rundberg.  Lindsay says, "On my single outing there, I had one local chick tell me about her relationship with the female bartender, all the while, she was rubbing up against another male patron. Not a classy first date place by far.  Sorry, I have to disagree.")

My Bedroom - TV...movies...bed right there...Saves me a lot of time and money (I kid, I kid) (So immature ... Not a great a way to start a relationship, but it has been known to happen.)



* - These comments have been slightly altered for the PG audience. If you would like to see the exact comment, visit the comments section on Austin's First Date Ideas.



- Edited by the Love Kudos Duo -

 
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Seeking online dating success stories. Please e-mail them to lovekudos@gmail.com. Please indicate if you would like your story posted anonymously or with your identity revealed. It can be a story of a friend or family member.

Love Kudos Makeover Contest: Accepting Entries Today!

Did you know that only 9% of women and 2% of men say they've actually had a relationship with someone they met at a bar?
 
According to the US Census , 44% of American Adults are single, 40% have tried online dating, AND there are more than 120,000 marriages a year that occur as a result of online dating in the U.S.
 

 

Are you ever confused what to do?

Love Kudos Makeover Contest: We will choose one male or female to redo / create their internet profile (pictures and essays included), as well as give them a one hour consultation session on dating etiquette. You can nominate yourself, a friend, family member, or co-worker. (If candidate chosen is out of the Houston or Austin area, dating etiquette consultation session will be over the phone.) 

The winner has been notified and will reveal their name after the Makeover has been complete. Thank you to everyone who entered the contest.

Submit entries to Lovekudos@gmail.com Due: December 15, 2009 Winner will be chosen by December 25, 2009. New Profile will be launched by January 1, 2010. 

Information Included in Entry:
- Full Name
- Age
- Height / Body Type
- Location where he/she resides > than 50% of the time
- Occupation
- Marital Status
- 3 Adjectives you would use to describe yourself or the person you are nominating.
- Why do you think the person being nominated is a good candidate for the "Love Kudos" Makeover
- Picture (Optional)

* Nominated party needs to be single, divorced, or a widow to qualify. Only parties interested in a long-term relationship will be considered. Be able to pass a criminal background check. Age eligibility: 21 and over. 

Contest Sponsored by: The Love Kudos Duo LKx2

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Text Messaging Casanova

LOVE KUDOS can help you with all your texting questions,

dating questions, and proper etiquette.

  Want to learn how to be a text messaging Casanovas? Love notes and etiquette of yesteryear probably won't get you very far these days when it comes to serenading that special someone. Watch this SuperNews Cartoon and you too can be Texting Your Way To Love in no time.

Just for fun!

(Its a little long, but worth it!)

 Compiled by Lindsay K. of the Love Kudos Duo - LKx2

 

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Mind your P's and Q's (Pictures and Quality) Dating Profile Help

This past weekend, Love Kudos was asked some "love seeking advice" by a blog follower:

Question 1: "For my main profile picture, what should I post to get noticed?"

Pictures are obviously the first thing someone sees when they browse through hundreds of profiles. So, how do you make that great first impression?

Lauren K's Main Profile Picture Examples:

Ex. A) Although this pic shows I know how to have fun, you can't even get a clear view of my face or my back side. I know that guys want to know, does she have a good booty? Plus, there are two other women in the photo. (NO)

Ex. B) The other person is actually just a friend of mine, but the person viewing my profile doesn't know that. Unless stated otherwise, they will naturally assume it is an X-boyfriend or even worse, a current crush. No need to generate jealousy before you meet someone. (NO)

Ex. C) This picture is a partial body shot and face portrait. It reveals that I like to go out and drink, but it is pretty innocent overall. I may or may not be the type of woman that can handle a shot of tequilia. Mr. Right will have to contact me to find out. I am alone, the picture is in focus, and my hair is actually not super frizzy or out of sorts. It is not a glamour or head shot from my former acting career, nor is it a cropped picture with my X-boyfriend on the cutting floor.(YES)

Example C is the only acceptable picture to use for a dating profile. (Group picture shots are ok as long as you make it clear who the people are in the photos.)  

 Top 5 Don'ts for Profiles Overall (MEN):

•  Physical Appearance - If you are bald, don't hide it by putting up only pictures with you in a hat.
• Age - If you are over 40, do not put that you are 35. If you look young, be proud of your age.
• Height - Abide by the 1 inch margin of error. If you are 5'7, you can somewhat legitimately put 5'8. (In the morning at your tallest point in the day, you are on average 1cm taller than you are in the evening.)
• Income - If you make 35K a year, do not put that you make 100K. Also, if you make over 100K, don't put that you make 35K to rule out the potential gold diggers. (You might rule out strong women with good incomes who are looking for equal income partners.)
• Hobbies or Interests - Don't post pictures with your latest kill or where you are nearly naked.

Lindsay K. says, "In this computer age, where everyone has a camera phone there should be no reason for you to not have a decent picture of yourself. Don't be shy! Ask a friend or coworker to take your picture if you do not have any pictures alone."Do not attempt to take a webcam picture. They usually produce poor quality pictures and often times, you end up sporting an awkward expression in the process. Additionally, we only recommend you put a couple of pictures of your animals, landscape scenes, or partying adventures in Vegas (if at all). You'll have plenty of time in the future to share your interests, hobbies, and friends with your love interest.

Top 5 Don'ts for Profiles Overall (WOMEN):

• Physical Appearance - If you are overweight, but are on a diet, don't lie and put your goal weight instead of your actual one. The truth will be revealed on your first meeting anyways. (It is not necessary to list your exact weight, but you should list your body type.)
• Age - If you are over 35, do not put that you are 30. If you look young, be proud of your age. (I know it is tempting to fudge on the age factor, but you are creating unnecessary deception.)
• Marital Status - If you are divorced, list it. If you have a child that lives with you, be honest about it. It is not fair to your prospective interests to hide this major piece of information.
• Income - If you make 35K a year, do not put that you make 100K. Also, if you make over 100K, don't put that you make 35K to rule out the potential sugar mamma seekers. (You might rule out strong men with good incomes who are looking for equal income partners.)
• Family - Don't post pictures with your neice or nephews unless there is an area where you can explain the ownership of those children.

If you need further guidance on which pictures to choose for your online dating or professional profile, please contact us today. Online dating sites usually have 4-8 photo spots for you to upload pictures. If you are sending out emails to men and women and getting anything less than a 40% positive response rate, you need Love Kudos to boost your chances for a sustainable romantic connection.

 Question 2: "Does profile content really matter to girls?"

 The answer is Yes! There is no denying it. Pictures are very important, but if your profile is lacking major areas filled out, potential readers will either lose interest or make a decision to write or diss you for only superficial reasons. You don't have to write a 1000 word essay in your "about me" section, but it would benefit you to write more than, "how long have you lived in X city" and "why your mom thinks you are such a great catch." Personally, I don't get turned on by the profiles that mention how great their mom thinks they are. Guys, your mom should think you exemplify the perfect combination of Jude Law's looks and John Roberts's intelligence. Some people hate the bar scene, because it can be superficial and difficult to catch somebody's attention in a pool of people. Well, the internet is flooded with internet dating profiles and you want to be noticed in a good way. Profiles are a reflection of who you are and how you want to be portrayed.

Basic Profile Pointers :

• Use the space in each section given to you effectively. If your profile is bare bones, then a potential mate could conclude you are not really that invested in being in a long-term relationship.
• Be positive. Maximize your strengths and minimize your limitations.
• Be confident. Starting your profile with, "I really hate talking about myself, but ..." is a big no no.
• Have a hook line in your introductory paragraph that is eye catching, but not offensive.
• Use a screen name that is intriguing or related to your name, initials, or favorite hobby. (EarthMartian2012 or SEXDUDE9680 are NOT ones I would recommend)

Need help with profile picture and content quality? Ask Love Kudos at lovekudos@gmail.com. We accept PayPal.


Written by Lauren K. of the Love Kudos Duo - LKx2
Contributions by Lindsay K.

 

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Is She a Gold Digger or Just Old Fashioned?

A Response to the "Check Dance" from Guest Blogger, Kevin Blanchard

As a modern/progressive single guy, I was happy to see your encouragement that the girl offer to pay tip or for the next date in your "Do's and Don'ts" suggestions. While I do realize even the most independent and modern girl usually expects at least a first date covered by the guy even in this day and age, as a guy I hate to feel like a piggy bank. Not that I mind spending the money, but usually if a girl hasn't offered to pay for something (even if its just ice cream after dinner) by the 3rd date, it sets off the gold digger alarm. I grew up in the Northeast, so that may have something to do with it. I know girls down in the south tend to be a bit more old fashioned, but if they are a gold digger or so old fashioned they don't feel they ever have to pay for a date, then it's probably not the girl for me anyway. When I look for a girl to share my life with and be in a relationship with, I'm looking for a partner and an equal.

I used to say relationships are 50/50, but more recently I have realized that relationships are 100/100. The cooking, cleaning, emotional, financial. It all needs to get done. It's not "my" job to provide those things, it's not "her" job to provide those things, it's "our" job. It's team work.

When I am getting serious with a girl, these are the traits I look for. I don't expect anything from her that I wouldn't do for myself and visa versa. These feelings I have just conveyed also apply for matters of the heart too. Of course, balance is the key. A little give and take depending on where each person is in their life.

- Edited by Lauren K. of the Love Kudos Duo -

 
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